Yeah, nobody likes that four-letter word. Neither do I. But I've been struck by more virus than one, and now I feel like a lethargic old girl with loads of marking to do. I straddle between trying to get my fair share of rest, and trying to meet my deadlines for marking and setting of exam papers.
But putting that aside, I think I had a swell of a week. When the new term started, I was already trying to fight off the flu bug. I pressed on. I had my lesson observation coming up and the last thing I needed was to fall sick.
It didn't help that I wanted to deliver the best lesson I could for the lesson observation. I tried not to pressurise myself, but the perfectionist in me just couldn't do less than what I was capable of. On the other hand, I was also afraid of over-taxing my poor old body. It needed rest, I know. But I had to push myself too.
Actually, I was more concerned if my kids would learn what I had intended for them to learn. Will they see what I wanted them to see? I tried to focus my lessons, and cut short activities that didn't seem to contribute to the lesson. Finally, on Tuesday, I felt I had what I wanted to teach. My supervisor saw my lesson plan and said it was OK. She said it'd be pretty interesting to see how it would unfold. I prepared my materials - colourful cards, papers, worksheets.... It was now all up to me, and my students.
My kids at 2 Unity are a wonderful bunch. I have a love-hate relationship with them. I know how boisterous they can be sometimes, and it can get pretty draining when I try to teach and there I have a bunch of kids just doing their own thing. But on a whole, I find them really endearing. My fellow teacher tells me that each time I speak of them, there's a sparkle in my eyes. Yes, in a way, they are my favourite students. After all, amongst all my students I have this year, I've taught them for the longest.
I didn't know how they'll be for the lesson observation. I did tell them my supervisor and the Principal will be coming in. I did tell them to ensure the classroom was clean. I did tell them to make sure they are neat and nice so they won't get into trouble. But I didn't tell them how I want them to be for my class. I just felt that that would be too make believe. I just hoped that they would rise up to the occasion during the lesson.
Well, my kids did surprise me that day. The classroom was sparkling clean. The tables were in neat rows. They got themselves ready into groups even before I told them to. And when I started the lesson, they were all ears. I love it when they look at me and listen earnestly with that look of enthusiasm in their eyes. They don't know it, but seeing this just makes my day.
They knew when to stand to greet the Principal when she walked in, and they knew when to reply to my questions. When it came to group work, all were engaged in the activity - every single one of them. But the best was yet to come. It was time to discuss their answers, and those that I called to present did so with such eloquence and intelligence, even they marvelled my observers, not just me. Indeed, the ideas and thoughts that ran through their minds, verbalised in words made the lesson much better than I had anticipated. Surely, they rose to the occasion higher than I ever thought possible.
My lesson ended well on time, and left them yearning for more. My Principal was so pleased with them she gave them a little speech at the end of the lesson, praising them for their behaviour. She said she was amazed at how each one of them listened when another classmate was presenting in class. She said she only saw this in Sec 2 Unity.
I felt proud of them. Like a parent seeing her child go on stage to receive her award, I was proud of these kids of mine. Suddenly, all the shouting to get them to listen when another was presenting seemed worth it. Suddenly, teaching them respect paid off. And maybe they didn't realise what they had done or learnt, but they had manifested it, and it showed it was in them. They are capable of exceeding expectations. They are capable of excelling. It's now just up to me to push them in the right direction.
And so my Sec 2 Unity - if you are reading this. Yes, thank you. Thank you for making my week a special one. Thank you for showing me that with perseverance, hard work will pay off. Thank you for encouraging me and letting me know that my mission of throwing starfishes in the sea is not an aimless one. You are a constant reminder for me, that I have a mission, and that I have to push on come what may. Thanks for making me smile. I hope I can do the same for you too.
:)
26 March 2005
20 March 2005
My Report Book
I did something strange today. I pulled out my report book from my secondary school days, and flipped through the pages, one by one. I vaguely remembered that I was strong in Geography and perhaps Biology, but I never quite remembered the rest of my subjects - except for A Maths of course, where I had an F9 right down to the O Level prelims.
Something struck me as I was flipping through the pages. The results I had back then were not very far from some of my students right now. I looked at the remarks my teacher wrote of me. "Shows great potential", "Responsible", "Conscientious", "Independent". As far as I could recall, I didn't think so highly of myself back then. All I remember was mugging at the last minute - just one day before the test. Somehow or other, I managed to pass quite OK - well, at least I got A1s to show for some subjects. Surprisingly, I did quite well for A Maths in Sec 3!
In any case, I wasn't too concerned about the marks. As I put my report book back on the shelf, I asked myself - what would my teacher think, say or feel if they meet me now. How would they feel if they knew what they had written, or what they had said to me affected me and moulded me into the person I am today. I reflect on my character right now, and yes, in a way they are right. They could see these qualities in me back then when I couldn't even see it for myself.
It brought me to wonder how and what I say to my students will affect their lives in the future. Will they look back one day when they are all grown up and successful, and say, yes, I got this far because my teacher believed in me?
And so, in reflection, sometimes, I feel as teachers, we should really watch what we say to our students. I subscribe fully to the labelling theory. Call a kid a trouble maker and he will be. Tell him he's good, and he will be. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but maybe we're not trying hard enough?
Yes, teaching is tough. As I sat with my NIE mates on Friday over dinner, we all agree that it's not easy to teach. It's not just teaching. It's the responsibility of so many lives that you're affecting every day. It's dealing with the stress and pressure of discipline, of classroom management, of administrative details, of planning, of marking, of dealing with parents, of meeting school expectations. And sometimes, we wonder how much thanks do we get in return.
An article appeared on Thursday's forum page. Someone wrote in to elaborate on the pressures of teaching. Yes, we all agree. It's a heavy burden to bear. It's a noble profession. It's tough. But some of us stick around anyway because we find fulfilment in moulding young minds and hearts.
As I start Term 2, I renew my objective and mission of why I came into teaching - to touch the lives of as many students as I can. It's a mammoth task, I know. But if like the boy who threw the starfishes back to sea, if I can do it one by one, bit by bit, I know I've made that difference.
Something struck me as I was flipping through the pages. The results I had back then were not very far from some of my students right now. I looked at the remarks my teacher wrote of me. "Shows great potential", "Responsible", "Conscientious", "Independent". As far as I could recall, I didn't think so highly of myself back then. All I remember was mugging at the last minute - just one day before the test. Somehow or other, I managed to pass quite OK - well, at least I got A1s to show for some subjects. Surprisingly, I did quite well for A Maths in Sec 3!
In any case, I wasn't too concerned about the marks. As I put my report book back on the shelf, I asked myself - what would my teacher think, say or feel if they meet me now. How would they feel if they knew what they had written, or what they had said to me affected me and moulded me into the person I am today. I reflect on my character right now, and yes, in a way they are right. They could see these qualities in me back then when I couldn't even see it for myself.
It brought me to wonder how and what I say to my students will affect their lives in the future. Will they look back one day when they are all grown up and successful, and say, yes, I got this far because my teacher believed in me?
And so, in reflection, sometimes, I feel as teachers, we should really watch what we say to our students. I subscribe fully to the labelling theory. Call a kid a trouble maker and he will be. Tell him he's good, and he will be. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but maybe we're not trying hard enough?
Yes, teaching is tough. As I sat with my NIE mates on Friday over dinner, we all agree that it's not easy to teach. It's not just teaching. It's the responsibility of so many lives that you're affecting every day. It's dealing with the stress and pressure of discipline, of classroom management, of administrative details, of planning, of marking, of dealing with parents, of meeting school expectations. And sometimes, we wonder how much thanks do we get in return.
An article appeared on Thursday's forum page. Someone wrote in to elaborate on the pressures of teaching. Yes, we all agree. It's a heavy burden to bear. It's a noble profession. It's tough. But some of us stick around anyway because we find fulfilment in moulding young minds and hearts.
As I start Term 2, I renew my objective and mission of why I came into teaching - to touch the lives of as many students as I can. It's a mammoth task, I know. But if like the boy who threw the starfishes back to sea, if I can do it one by one, bit by bit, I know I've made that difference.
17 March 2005
Priscilla
Met up with Pris yesterday after the conference on Teaching with Newspapers at the Grand Hyatt. Well, you could say yesterday was a day of "catching up", since I also met up with Elaine, whom I got in touch with when she was working at the Ritz Carlton when I was running the ASEAN Lecture event whilst working at NUS. Glad to see that she's doing fine. Also ran into Debby and Mag - great to see you gals again.. Well, we'll meet again on Friday, yah? Can't wait!!
As usual, I enjoyed my meeting with Pris. It's always nice to meet up with her. Sometimes, I feel I talk too much each time I meet with her. It's like I'd pour out a whole baggage of news for her, and she'd just patiently listen. Each time I meet up with her, it's like getting back in touch with my true self.
It's funny but our lives seem so much alike, our characters and our thinking, that we wonder if we were related in some way. It's amazing to see how our friendship dates back since Primary One, and I'd say she's been a dear friend to me since. I remember how she'd give me 50 cents a day when I was in Primary school so that I could have money to buy a plate of mee rebus and have some left over for a popsicle. Not that I was that poor, but that my pocket money was whatever that was leftover from the household money set aside for that week. Some days, that meant nothing since my brother had to have his pocket money too.
I never did ask my mum how she managed to juggle it all, but somehow she did. Things got better when she went out to work, but that meant going back home to an empty home and a plate of cold porridge awaiting me. But I got by. I was fine. I had fun instead with my brother as we played fractions with our cold curded porridge.
Back to Pris - she's giving birth in June. About the same time as Lee Yee. I can't imagine. I'd have two new godsons within the same month! Pris has decided to name her son Christian. Nice. Says a lot, and I bet he'd be a hell of a handsome guy!
We spoke much about lots of stuff. About what has kept me busy, about kids, aboutd disappointments, about aspirations and about making ends meet. Yes, we're going through the same things ironically though we're leading separate lives. She understands how I feel. I understand how she feels.
We both parted with corny jokes that put us in higher spirits despite our fears. I guess we knew that the big guy above will watch over us somehow.
As usual, I enjoyed my meeting with Pris. It's always nice to meet up with her. Sometimes, I feel I talk too much each time I meet with her. It's like I'd pour out a whole baggage of news for her, and she'd just patiently listen. Each time I meet up with her, it's like getting back in touch with my true self.
It's funny but our lives seem so much alike, our characters and our thinking, that we wonder if we were related in some way. It's amazing to see how our friendship dates back since Primary One, and I'd say she's been a dear friend to me since. I remember how she'd give me 50 cents a day when I was in Primary school so that I could have money to buy a plate of mee rebus and have some left over for a popsicle. Not that I was that poor, but that my pocket money was whatever that was leftover from the household money set aside for that week. Some days, that meant nothing since my brother had to have his pocket money too.
I never did ask my mum how she managed to juggle it all, but somehow she did. Things got better when she went out to work, but that meant going back home to an empty home and a plate of cold porridge awaiting me. But I got by. I was fine. I had fun instead with my brother as we played fractions with our cold curded porridge.
Back to Pris - she's giving birth in June. About the same time as Lee Yee. I can't imagine. I'd have two new godsons within the same month! Pris has decided to name her son Christian. Nice. Says a lot, and I bet he'd be a hell of a handsome guy!
We spoke much about lots of stuff. About what has kept me busy, about kids, aboutd disappointments, about aspirations and about making ends meet. Yes, we're going through the same things ironically though we're leading separate lives. She understands how I feel. I understand how she feels.
We both parted with corny jokes that put us in higher spirits despite our fears. I guess we knew that the big guy above will watch over us somehow.
12 March 2005
Term Break
Yes. Finally. The term break has started. And whilst others may envy at the one week breather, I am far from their envy. I realised that I have to be down in school everyday. It's worse than normal school. I have piles of marking to do, and students to meet, drama kids to train, and lesson preparation to do for me lesson observation. So, what's new?
Well, for starters, I'm taking this one week break to reflect on what I could have done better. What worked? What didn't? Why didn't it work?
As I set goals for my students, I have also begun to sit back, take a breather and set goals for myself. What is it that I want to achieve this term? Have I achieved any goals myself? Why am I on this mission? And have I begun to head towards the goal of this mission that I have embarked on?
Maybe yes, maybe no. I am glad that I have continued my good rapport with 2 Unity although sometimes, they climb over my head. And I have established good rapport with my form class. I think I need more working on for 2 Integrity. Slowly, but surely, I will get there! And my drama kids - what a lovely bunch! Put the rapport aside, I have to ask myself if I have been an effective teacher. Was I able to teach such that they understand?
It's time to think and reflect...
Well, for starters, I'm taking this one week break to reflect on what I could have done better. What worked? What didn't? Why didn't it work?
As I set goals for my students, I have also begun to sit back, take a breather and set goals for myself. What is it that I want to achieve this term? Have I achieved any goals myself? Why am I on this mission? And have I begun to head towards the goal of this mission that I have embarked on?
Maybe yes, maybe no. I am glad that I have continued my good rapport with 2 Unity although sometimes, they climb over my head. And I have established good rapport with my form class. I think I need more working on for 2 Integrity. Slowly, but surely, I will get there! And my drama kids - what a lovely bunch! Put the rapport aside, I have to ask myself if I have been an effective teacher. Was I able to teach such that they understand?
It's time to think and reflect...