It is difficult dealing with death. And more so when you come so close to experiencing it.
I had a full day of meetings on Friday, one of which was at Holy Innocents' - the school I was formerly teaching at. I was just about to leave for the meeting when my brother informed me over msn that one of our students had passed away in an accident in the morning. I gathered his name, and though I hadn't taught him before, I vaguely knew who he was.
It was evident that both teachers and students were traumatised by the accident. It definitely came as a sudden shock for many. Groups of students were seen being counselled in different rooms. And though many didn't know him, all had a common heart of compassion.
The chapel became a room of solace as a group of students and teachers came together in prayer while others penned down their thoughts in a book placed in front of the altar.
It was an especially sad day for the school, and for each one of us, the accident made us reflect in our own way.
With the passing of my uncle just a week before, another death created a deeper impact on me. It made me realise how fragile life is. And that it can end anytime. It can get scary sometimes, thinking that you may leave this world with lots of things left undone, and lots of things left unsaid.
I reflected on my life. I am one who has lots on her plate. I live by the day but plan by the year and beyond. I want to experience as much as possible and learn as much as possible. My philosophy was - if life was so short, I should maximise it, and do all I can while on earth.
However, sometimes, this is done at the expense of other things - spending time with my loved ones for example. And when the calculations are done at the end of the day, it's hard to decide which is more valuable. Both matter to me just as much.
The passing on of someone always makes us value our lives much more. And I wish it doesn't have to be this way. That we will learn to treasure our life and that of others every day. That we will learn to live our lives to the fullest every day. That we will learn to forgive or tell that someone we love him or her. That we will thank the one above for giving us the gift of life. That we don't have to experience the death of someone to remind us that life is precious and fragile. And that we should treat it with love and care.
I said a prayer for the souls of Gabriel and my uncle as I knelt down in church today. They probably had a lot left undone before leaving us. But I pray that they may rest in peace in the love of our God up in heaven.
26 August 2007
22 August 2007
My uncle.
My uncle (my mum's brother) passed away last Friday after a long battle with cancer. During the last two months when he was at the hospice, we prayed that he would be relieved of his suffering. It wasn't that we had wanted him to leave us, but that it pained us to see him suffering in pain.
Still, the hospice was a haven for him compared to the hospital he was in. His needs were met and the nurses gave him his dignity back in his last moments on earth. There wasn't much the doctors nor nurses could do except to inject him with yet more doses of morphine to ease the pain. But still, they took care of him as much as they could, checking on him and ensuring he was comfortable.
I saw my uncle at the hospice about two weeks before he passed away. He was sleeping and breathing uncomfortably from his mouth. His throat was filled with phlegm that he found difficult to clear away. It hindered his breathing and brought discomfort to his breathing passage.
I don't know if he heard me when I called him, held his hands and told him I had come to visit him. I didn't want to wake him up in case it made him unnecessarily tired. But deep in me, I hoped he knew I was there, holding his hands to comfort him and tell him to not be afraid to go back to God.
My uncle was especially close to my family. Not having any children on his own, he took his nieces and nephews as his children. He had his own way of caring. And in not so many words, he showed his love for us. My brother and I never forgot how he got us a TV when ours was taken away, and how he would lend his us DVDs to keep us entertained. He loved music, and shared this with us every Chinese New Year when we visited him in his home. With a large projection screen in his small flat, it was really like watching a movie in a cinema!
My uncle was simple man with a kind heart. My mum told me once that went to find out how to send money to a family who was involved in an accident once. And he went all out just to ensure that was done. It's not that he's rich. He just has a heart of gold.
This Christmas, it would be different without my uncle. We would miss him for sure. But we are happy that he has been relieved of his pain. And perhaps, he is up there in heaven with God, looking down on us.
Still, the hospice was a haven for him compared to the hospital he was in. His needs were met and the nurses gave him his dignity back in his last moments on earth. There wasn't much the doctors nor nurses could do except to inject him with yet more doses of morphine to ease the pain. But still, they took care of him as much as they could, checking on him and ensuring he was comfortable.
I saw my uncle at the hospice about two weeks before he passed away. He was sleeping and breathing uncomfortably from his mouth. His throat was filled with phlegm that he found difficult to clear away. It hindered his breathing and brought discomfort to his breathing passage.
I don't know if he heard me when I called him, held his hands and told him I had come to visit him. I didn't want to wake him up in case it made him unnecessarily tired. But deep in me, I hoped he knew I was there, holding his hands to comfort him and tell him to not be afraid to go back to God.
My uncle was especially close to my family. Not having any children on his own, he took his nieces and nephews as his children. He had his own way of caring. And in not so many words, he showed his love for us. My brother and I never forgot how he got us a TV when ours was taken away, and how he would lend his us DVDs to keep us entertained. He loved music, and shared this with us every Chinese New Year when we visited him in his home. With a large projection screen in his small flat, it was really like watching a movie in a cinema!
My uncle was simple man with a kind heart. My mum told me once that went to find out how to send money to a family who was involved in an accident once. And he went all out just to ensure that was done. It's not that he's rich. He just has a heart of gold.
This Christmas, it would be different without my uncle. We would miss him for sure. But we are happy that he has been relieved of his pain. And perhaps, he is up there in heaven with God, looking down on us.