My Sec 2 class

I was especially sad today. I wondered if anyone noticed. My close friends did cos I lacked that usual smile and somehow I found tears welling up in my eyes as I looked hard and straight at my new Sec 2 class.

It saddened me that for a class that had a perfect score in camp, for a class that put in so much effort to do up the class, for a class that had the best camper, and a class that had its history of being the best decorated class, it was somehow divided.

I'm not talking about cliques here, because that's normal and part of growing up. I'm talking about having such negative thoughts and feelings of others, thinking one is superior to others.

I wondered where all their values have gone to as I wondered how I were to deal with the issue come English lesson. It didn't help that I had a million and one things on my table to do and complete by today. Somehow, I felt like screaming, but I kept it all inside.

I never knew that children of their age could be filled with so much hate, that words that stung hard and deep were used on each other. Nevermind how they were said, or the manner in which they were conveyed. The truth of the matter is that it hurt.

I spoke with my VP on how to deal with the issue. She said they should be warned, that threats are serious issues, and that a case can be made against them. And we're talking about police reports here. It doesn't matter if it be in written form, verbal or via cyberspace or telephone wires. It's all the same. A threat is a threat.

As I entered the class, I couldn't bear to bring any one of the faces I saw in front of me to case. They are too young to know how best to express their anger and displeasure, I concluded. And so, I got themt to write on "What I like/dislike about my classmates/class" in an effort to understand them better and for them to let it all out through writing. After all, that's what I do when I need to get all my emotions out.

It saddedned me again to know that whilst a handful saw the glass as half full, most saw it as half empty. "I hate" filled more papers than "I like". I wondered why the negativity. What is there for me to show them that the world in which they live in is not just about themselves, but of others too.

I'm sure deep in some of their hearts, I am hated for having changed their seats. I guess if I were in their position, I would dislike the arrangement too. But if they could make sense of the benefit they would get in making space for themselves, away from their usual friends, perhaps, they would better realise and make use of the time to do something positive instead, like helping their new friend sitting beside them, knowing them better, or taking that time to pay attention in class and learn more.

It's frustrating having to keep stopping during lessons just to make sure the class is quiet, so that they know what to do, what to learn. Sometimes, I wonder if I am at fault for not engaging them in a way that they would sit up and pay attention.

I look back at my Sec 2 classes I've taught before and I wonder if I can create the same magic I did for 2 Unity. Maybe I'm impatient, but deep in my heart, I do wish they can be more attentive and responsive.

But above all, I do wish and hope that my class will take some time to think about what drew them together during the camp, how they can put aside their differences then, and how they can put aside their differences from now on. Does it really mattter if one hates someone else? Who benefits from the hate at the end of it all? None.

So I ask of my class, to let go of their hate, because it only breeds negativity in them, and really, nothing good comes out of negativity.

Tomorrow, I don't see them, but I hope to feel better by Friday knowing that they have put aside their differences, and work together as a team.

My dear Sec 2 class - I know you can do it!