My Form Class

Sometimes, I ask myself what kind of form teacher I am. What's my role as a form teacher?

"You collect lots of forms. That's why you're called a form teacher."

Ya, right. Well, that's true, but when they gave me a class and told me I was form teacher, it didn't come with instructions on how I should behave or what was expected of me. For some, being a form teacher meant just collecting forms and doing the administrative things - collecting money, marking attendance, meeting parents...

This is my second year as a form teacher, and with the brood I currently have, it dawned on me why form teachership didn't come with instructions. The simple reason is that the job is limitless.

I don't think people not in the teaching line can ever understand the role of a form teacher, or a demands of a form class. It's a load heavier than marking stacks of scripts, for the simple reason - it's like parenting 40 kids at one go.

I feel fortunate with my current Sec 2 Integrity, much as I scold them and punish them for what they do wrong. I am grateful that they do not play truant for one, and some know how to motivate themselves to study. I am grateful that they do not give me trouble that see me running to the police station or doing house calls to their parents. Or causing so much trouble that I have to go calling their parents and anyone else at home just to get them to behave or turn up in school. I know some of my fellow teachers doing that, and I really admire their emotional strength. It's draining on top of the teaching load, to have to deal with students' problems, and their family's problems.

It is no secret that I read my students' blogs to know what's going on in their lives, and how they are feeling. I don't mean to intrude. I just want to know them better in a less intrusive manner. I know how it can be for a 14 year old. I was once that age. My world then was just about me, and how I felt. It was a world that I felt nobody understood or nobody cared. I wrote frequently in my thick blue diary, and hid it right at the back of the cupboard so nobody could read it.

But that aside, I get affected when I read my students' blogs. I get affected when I read of quarrels betweeen friends, or see the use of bad language. I feel sad when I read of cliques being formed, and things being said against each other. Yet I get happy when I read of mature thoughts, and seeing things from another point of view. I smile when I read of conflicts being reconciled, or of who studying with who, and having found it effective. I smile when I know things are going on well between my kids, that they are organizing a class outing to see the fire works. It's a feeling of "Yes, they are growing up ok."

I don't know if my kids ever saw the role of what I'm supposed to be doing as a form teacher. Maybe they expect more from me. Maybe they expect me to be there always as they celebrate their high moments. And maybe they think I'm not a good one cos I'm not always there with them always.

At times like these, I hope they know that though I am not with them physically, I am there with them in my thoughts - always. I pray for them in church, that they be blessed. I wonder if they are doing OK, so I read their blogs. I find out in my discreet manner if they are doing ok, and ask one or two students once in a while if they are ok. I get feedback from teachers cos I care. My point is, I don't always explicitly show I am thinking of my Sec 2 Int, but the truth is that, I do.

They probably don't know how proud I am of them when they do their work well. I show off to other teachers what they are capable of. It makes me feel happy that I have a class that is able to push themselves hard, and to their fullest potential. I hope they keep in them their spirit of resilience, to push themselves to achieve their goals even as they move on to Sec 3 next year.

I hope they realise that the people they were once with may not be there with them always, but even so, they have the capacity and capability to move on, to do well, to unite with others, make new friends and establish new connections to better themselves. In short - it's all up to you to decide who you want to be no matter your environnment or who's by your side.

And really, looking at how you're growing up, if you decide right, you sure will be powerful people in your own right.

:)