Tired?

Yesterday, I spoke with Pam briefly. I was supposed to meet up with her and Chen Ying later in the afternoon after my appointment, but the rain came pouring down and got me stranded. And so, I couldn't move off from where I was til the rain stopped.

While I wished I could have met up with them, the brief conversation I had with Pam got me thinking. Among the things we talked about, she asked, "Don't you ever get tired?"

It struck me hard, but the reply came out almost immediately. "Nope!"

Maybe I was on a high. I don't know.

Today, I read an article in one of the many publications we teachers get. It was an article about how a couple with 8 kids still manage to keep the family going on a single income. And all of them are happy. One thing came to mind - unconditional love. That kept them going. Yes, finances get strained with each birth of a new child, but he says it's all worth it. It's just a matter of juggling things around, and making some sacrifices.

Reflecting, I ask myself, why do I do the things I do? Unconditional love? Yes, sacrifices are made. I'm far busier than I was when I was working at NUS, where I could spend my evenings shopping along Orchard Road, or bake every weekend, or meet up with friends frequently. Now, I do these things far less often. Punggol is my usual haunt. I hardly step foot on Orchard Road, not to mention Suntec City. How does Carrefour look like now? TV Programmes? I don't even know what's on! But once in a while, I make it a point to take some time to give myself a treat, just to be by myself so that I can rejuvenate. Maybe that's why I don't get tired?

My counselling tutor from NIE dropped me an email to say she's glad to hear from one of the trainee teachers who was on attachment at HIHS that I'm doing well in school and that the kids are responding well to me. She warned me to take some time off for myself too, lest I get drained.

Yes, it can get draining at times. Doing the work we do is not easy. So sometimes, I remind myself that it's OK to slow down, to take a step back, to be less than perfect. After all, as Uncle Joel shared with me - sometimes, when you take a step back, it's only because it lets you make a greater leap forward.