It's cliche I know, to say we learn every day. Even as a teacher, I find myself learning every day. I learn from my friends, from my brother, from fellow colleagues, from the newspapers and yes, even my students.
I am glad that despite my busy schedule, I have put aside some time to learn something new. I had intended to take this up last year, but the sudden back ache got me postponing it till never ever, until this time, I decided that it was about time I faced my fears and challenged myself. After all, there was a little incentive in going. My good friend, Priscilla said she wants to go on a trip with me after she gives birth.
And so, I've gone back to lessons, took my quiz and I don't really believe it but I'm actually reading my notes in preparation for my exams tomorrow. Though everyone tells me nobody has failed the exams before, I don't think I want to be the first. Tuesday onwards, I'd be going on my practical lessons, and this weekend, I'd be overseas bound on my first ever open water dive! Yes, I'm learning to dive.
Over the past two days, I've learnt about buoyancy, and what happens to you when you have too much oxygen and nitrogen in your body, why you have to ascent and descent slowly, what causes the bents, and cute hand signs for the different aqua life. It's amazing. Now, I understand why Pris got hooked to diving. I sure hope I can equalise when I get underwater so I can see the marine life that I've been observing only through the Discovery Channel so far!
This will be a challenge for me even more as I will be facing my phobia of the water.. no, I'm not really afraid of water. It's just that I panic when I can't catch my breath. I just decide to hold my breath, and if you dive, you know that that really isn't a very good idea cos your lungs may burst!
Learning diving brought me to realise something - I miss studying. I miss learning things in an educational institution. I miss discovering new things. Maybe sometimes, I get so bogged down with work, and marking and teaching, that I forget to sit back and take time to learn myself. My kids I teach will probably not understand the value of education, the joy of learning and discovering until one day, when they are old enough to work, will they then miss the joy of being a student. Mark my words. I know because I was in their shoes once.
Learn. It's about enriching your life with knowledge.
03 April 2005
26 March 2005
Sick, but surviving...!
Yeah, nobody likes that four-letter word. Neither do I. But I've been struck by more virus than one, and now I feel like a lethargic old girl with loads of marking to do. I straddle between trying to get my fair share of rest, and trying to meet my deadlines for marking and setting of exam papers.
But putting that aside, I think I had a swell of a week. When the new term started, I was already trying to fight off the flu bug. I pressed on. I had my lesson observation coming up and the last thing I needed was to fall sick.
It didn't help that I wanted to deliver the best lesson I could for the lesson observation. I tried not to pressurise myself, but the perfectionist in me just couldn't do less than what I was capable of. On the other hand, I was also afraid of over-taxing my poor old body. It needed rest, I know. But I had to push myself too.
Actually, I was more concerned if my kids would learn what I had intended for them to learn. Will they see what I wanted them to see? I tried to focus my lessons, and cut short activities that didn't seem to contribute to the lesson. Finally, on Tuesday, I felt I had what I wanted to teach. My supervisor saw my lesson plan and said it was OK. She said it'd be pretty interesting to see how it would unfold. I prepared my materials - colourful cards, papers, worksheets.... It was now all up to me, and my students.
My kids at 2 Unity are a wonderful bunch. I have a love-hate relationship with them. I know how boisterous they can be sometimes, and it can get pretty draining when I try to teach and there I have a bunch of kids just doing their own thing. But on a whole, I find them really endearing. My fellow teacher tells me that each time I speak of them, there's a sparkle in my eyes. Yes, in a way, they are my favourite students. After all, amongst all my students I have this year, I've taught them for the longest.
I didn't know how they'll be for the lesson observation. I did tell them my supervisor and the Principal will be coming in. I did tell them to ensure the classroom was clean. I did tell them to make sure they are neat and nice so they won't get into trouble. But I didn't tell them how I want them to be for my class. I just felt that that would be too make believe. I just hoped that they would rise up to the occasion during the lesson.
Well, my kids did surprise me that day. The classroom was sparkling clean. The tables were in neat rows. They got themselves ready into groups even before I told them to. And when I started the lesson, they were all ears. I love it when they look at me and listen earnestly with that look of enthusiasm in their eyes. They don't know it, but seeing this just makes my day.
They knew when to stand to greet the Principal when she walked in, and they knew when to reply to my questions. When it came to group work, all were engaged in the activity - every single one of them. But the best was yet to come. It was time to discuss their answers, and those that I called to present did so with such eloquence and intelligence, even they marvelled my observers, not just me. Indeed, the ideas and thoughts that ran through their minds, verbalised in words made the lesson much better than I had anticipated. Surely, they rose to the occasion higher than I ever thought possible.
My lesson ended well on time, and left them yearning for more. My Principal was so pleased with them she gave them a little speech at the end of the lesson, praising them for their behaviour. She said she was amazed at how each one of them listened when another classmate was presenting in class. She said she only saw this in Sec 2 Unity.
I felt proud of them. Like a parent seeing her child go on stage to receive her award, I was proud of these kids of mine. Suddenly, all the shouting to get them to listen when another was presenting seemed worth it. Suddenly, teaching them respect paid off. And maybe they didn't realise what they had done or learnt, but they had manifested it, and it showed it was in them. They are capable of exceeding expectations. They are capable of excelling. It's now just up to me to push them in the right direction.
And so my Sec 2 Unity - if you are reading this. Yes, thank you. Thank you for making my week a special one. Thank you for showing me that with perseverance, hard work will pay off. Thank you for encouraging me and letting me know that my mission of throwing starfishes in the sea is not an aimless one. You are a constant reminder for me, that I have a mission, and that I have to push on come what may. Thanks for making me smile. I hope I can do the same for you too.
:)
But putting that aside, I think I had a swell of a week. When the new term started, I was already trying to fight off the flu bug. I pressed on. I had my lesson observation coming up and the last thing I needed was to fall sick.
It didn't help that I wanted to deliver the best lesson I could for the lesson observation. I tried not to pressurise myself, but the perfectionist in me just couldn't do less than what I was capable of. On the other hand, I was also afraid of over-taxing my poor old body. It needed rest, I know. But I had to push myself too.
Actually, I was more concerned if my kids would learn what I had intended for them to learn. Will they see what I wanted them to see? I tried to focus my lessons, and cut short activities that didn't seem to contribute to the lesson. Finally, on Tuesday, I felt I had what I wanted to teach. My supervisor saw my lesson plan and said it was OK. She said it'd be pretty interesting to see how it would unfold. I prepared my materials - colourful cards, papers, worksheets.... It was now all up to me, and my students.
My kids at 2 Unity are a wonderful bunch. I have a love-hate relationship with them. I know how boisterous they can be sometimes, and it can get pretty draining when I try to teach and there I have a bunch of kids just doing their own thing. But on a whole, I find them really endearing. My fellow teacher tells me that each time I speak of them, there's a sparkle in my eyes. Yes, in a way, they are my favourite students. After all, amongst all my students I have this year, I've taught them for the longest.
I didn't know how they'll be for the lesson observation. I did tell them my supervisor and the Principal will be coming in. I did tell them to ensure the classroom was clean. I did tell them to make sure they are neat and nice so they won't get into trouble. But I didn't tell them how I want them to be for my class. I just felt that that would be too make believe. I just hoped that they would rise up to the occasion during the lesson.
Well, my kids did surprise me that day. The classroom was sparkling clean. The tables were in neat rows. They got themselves ready into groups even before I told them to. And when I started the lesson, they were all ears. I love it when they look at me and listen earnestly with that look of enthusiasm in their eyes. They don't know it, but seeing this just makes my day.
They knew when to stand to greet the Principal when she walked in, and they knew when to reply to my questions. When it came to group work, all were engaged in the activity - every single one of them. But the best was yet to come. It was time to discuss their answers, and those that I called to present did so with such eloquence and intelligence, even they marvelled my observers, not just me. Indeed, the ideas and thoughts that ran through their minds, verbalised in words made the lesson much better than I had anticipated. Surely, they rose to the occasion higher than I ever thought possible.
My lesson ended well on time, and left them yearning for more. My Principal was so pleased with them she gave them a little speech at the end of the lesson, praising them for their behaviour. She said she was amazed at how each one of them listened when another classmate was presenting in class. She said she only saw this in Sec 2 Unity.
I felt proud of them. Like a parent seeing her child go on stage to receive her award, I was proud of these kids of mine. Suddenly, all the shouting to get them to listen when another was presenting seemed worth it. Suddenly, teaching them respect paid off. And maybe they didn't realise what they had done or learnt, but they had manifested it, and it showed it was in them. They are capable of exceeding expectations. They are capable of excelling. It's now just up to me to push them in the right direction.
And so my Sec 2 Unity - if you are reading this. Yes, thank you. Thank you for making my week a special one. Thank you for showing me that with perseverance, hard work will pay off. Thank you for encouraging me and letting me know that my mission of throwing starfishes in the sea is not an aimless one. You are a constant reminder for me, that I have a mission, and that I have to push on come what may. Thanks for making me smile. I hope I can do the same for you too.
:)
20 March 2005
My Report Book
I did something strange today. I pulled out my report book from my secondary school days, and flipped through the pages, one by one. I vaguely remembered that I was strong in Geography and perhaps Biology, but I never quite remembered the rest of my subjects - except for A Maths of course, where I had an F9 right down to the O Level prelims.
Something struck me as I was flipping through the pages. The results I had back then were not very far from some of my students right now. I looked at the remarks my teacher wrote of me. "Shows great potential", "Responsible", "Conscientious", "Independent". As far as I could recall, I didn't think so highly of myself back then. All I remember was mugging at the last minute - just one day before the test. Somehow or other, I managed to pass quite OK - well, at least I got A1s to show for some subjects. Surprisingly, I did quite well for A Maths in Sec 3!
In any case, I wasn't too concerned about the marks. As I put my report book back on the shelf, I asked myself - what would my teacher think, say or feel if they meet me now. How would they feel if they knew what they had written, or what they had said to me affected me and moulded me into the person I am today. I reflect on my character right now, and yes, in a way they are right. They could see these qualities in me back then when I couldn't even see it for myself.
It brought me to wonder how and what I say to my students will affect their lives in the future. Will they look back one day when they are all grown up and successful, and say, yes, I got this far because my teacher believed in me?
And so, in reflection, sometimes, I feel as teachers, we should really watch what we say to our students. I subscribe fully to the labelling theory. Call a kid a trouble maker and he will be. Tell him he's good, and he will be. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but maybe we're not trying hard enough?
Yes, teaching is tough. As I sat with my NIE mates on Friday over dinner, we all agree that it's not easy to teach. It's not just teaching. It's the responsibility of so many lives that you're affecting every day. It's dealing with the stress and pressure of discipline, of classroom management, of administrative details, of planning, of marking, of dealing with parents, of meeting school expectations. And sometimes, we wonder how much thanks do we get in return.
An article appeared on Thursday's forum page. Someone wrote in to elaborate on the pressures of teaching. Yes, we all agree. It's a heavy burden to bear. It's a noble profession. It's tough. But some of us stick around anyway because we find fulfilment in moulding young minds and hearts.
As I start Term 2, I renew my objective and mission of why I came into teaching - to touch the lives of as many students as I can. It's a mammoth task, I know. But if like the boy who threw the starfishes back to sea, if I can do it one by one, bit by bit, I know I've made that difference.
Something struck me as I was flipping through the pages. The results I had back then were not very far from some of my students right now. I looked at the remarks my teacher wrote of me. "Shows great potential", "Responsible", "Conscientious", "Independent". As far as I could recall, I didn't think so highly of myself back then. All I remember was mugging at the last minute - just one day before the test. Somehow or other, I managed to pass quite OK - well, at least I got A1s to show for some subjects. Surprisingly, I did quite well for A Maths in Sec 3!
In any case, I wasn't too concerned about the marks. As I put my report book back on the shelf, I asked myself - what would my teacher think, say or feel if they meet me now. How would they feel if they knew what they had written, or what they had said to me affected me and moulded me into the person I am today. I reflect on my character right now, and yes, in a way they are right. They could see these qualities in me back then when I couldn't even see it for myself.
It brought me to wonder how and what I say to my students will affect their lives in the future. Will they look back one day when they are all grown up and successful, and say, yes, I got this far because my teacher believed in me?
And so, in reflection, sometimes, I feel as teachers, we should really watch what we say to our students. I subscribe fully to the labelling theory. Call a kid a trouble maker and he will be. Tell him he's good, and he will be. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but maybe we're not trying hard enough?
Yes, teaching is tough. As I sat with my NIE mates on Friday over dinner, we all agree that it's not easy to teach. It's not just teaching. It's the responsibility of so many lives that you're affecting every day. It's dealing with the stress and pressure of discipline, of classroom management, of administrative details, of planning, of marking, of dealing with parents, of meeting school expectations. And sometimes, we wonder how much thanks do we get in return.
An article appeared on Thursday's forum page. Someone wrote in to elaborate on the pressures of teaching. Yes, we all agree. It's a heavy burden to bear. It's a noble profession. It's tough. But some of us stick around anyway because we find fulfilment in moulding young minds and hearts.
As I start Term 2, I renew my objective and mission of why I came into teaching - to touch the lives of as many students as I can. It's a mammoth task, I know. But if like the boy who threw the starfishes back to sea, if I can do it one by one, bit by bit, I know I've made that difference.
17 March 2005
Priscilla
Met up with Pris yesterday after the conference on Teaching with Newspapers at the Grand Hyatt. Well, you could say yesterday was a day of "catching up", since I also met up with Elaine, whom I got in touch with when she was working at the Ritz Carlton when I was running the ASEAN Lecture event whilst working at NUS. Glad to see that she's doing fine. Also ran into Debby and Mag - great to see you gals again.. Well, we'll meet again on Friday, yah? Can't wait!!
As usual, I enjoyed my meeting with Pris. It's always nice to meet up with her. Sometimes, I feel I talk too much each time I meet with her. It's like I'd pour out a whole baggage of news for her, and she'd just patiently listen. Each time I meet up with her, it's like getting back in touch with my true self.
It's funny but our lives seem so much alike, our characters and our thinking, that we wonder if we were related in some way. It's amazing to see how our friendship dates back since Primary One, and I'd say she's been a dear friend to me since. I remember how she'd give me 50 cents a day when I was in Primary school so that I could have money to buy a plate of mee rebus and have some left over for a popsicle. Not that I was that poor, but that my pocket money was whatever that was leftover from the household money set aside for that week. Some days, that meant nothing since my brother had to have his pocket money too.
I never did ask my mum how she managed to juggle it all, but somehow she did. Things got better when she went out to work, but that meant going back home to an empty home and a plate of cold porridge awaiting me. But I got by. I was fine. I had fun instead with my brother as we played fractions with our cold curded porridge.
Back to Pris - she's giving birth in June. About the same time as Lee Yee. I can't imagine. I'd have two new godsons within the same month! Pris has decided to name her son Christian. Nice. Says a lot, and I bet he'd be a hell of a handsome guy!
We spoke much about lots of stuff. About what has kept me busy, about kids, aboutd disappointments, about aspirations and about making ends meet. Yes, we're going through the same things ironically though we're leading separate lives. She understands how I feel. I understand how she feels.
We both parted with corny jokes that put us in higher spirits despite our fears. I guess we knew that the big guy above will watch over us somehow.
As usual, I enjoyed my meeting with Pris. It's always nice to meet up with her. Sometimes, I feel I talk too much each time I meet with her. It's like I'd pour out a whole baggage of news for her, and she'd just patiently listen. Each time I meet up with her, it's like getting back in touch with my true self.
It's funny but our lives seem so much alike, our characters and our thinking, that we wonder if we were related in some way. It's amazing to see how our friendship dates back since Primary One, and I'd say she's been a dear friend to me since. I remember how she'd give me 50 cents a day when I was in Primary school so that I could have money to buy a plate of mee rebus and have some left over for a popsicle. Not that I was that poor, but that my pocket money was whatever that was leftover from the household money set aside for that week. Some days, that meant nothing since my brother had to have his pocket money too.
I never did ask my mum how she managed to juggle it all, but somehow she did. Things got better when she went out to work, but that meant going back home to an empty home and a plate of cold porridge awaiting me. But I got by. I was fine. I had fun instead with my brother as we played fractions with our cold curded porridge.
Back to Pris - she's giving birth in June. About the same time as Lee Yee. I can't imagine. I'd have two new godsons within the same month! Pris has decided to name her son Christian. Nice. Says a lot, and I bet he'd be a hell of a handsome guy!
We spoke much about lots of stuff. About what has kept me busy, about kids, aboutd disappointments, about aspirations and about making ends meet. Yes, we're going through the same things ironically though we're leading separate lives. She understands how I feel. I understand how she feels.
We both parted with corny jokes that put us in higher spirits despite our fears. I guess we knew that the big guy above will watch over us somehow.
12 March 2005
Term Break
Yes. Finally. The term break has started. And whilst others may envy at the one week breather, I am far from their envy. I realised that I have to be down in school everyday. It's worse than normal school. I have piles of marking to do, and students to meet, drama kids to train, and lesson preparation to do for me lesson observation. So, what's new?
Well, for starters, I'm taking this one week break to reflect on what I could have done better. What worked? What didn't? Why didn't it work?
As I set goals for my students, I have also begun to sit back, take a breather and set goals for myself. What is it that I want to achieve this term? Have I achieved any goals myself? Why am I on this mission? And have I begun to head towards the goal of this mission that I have embarked on?
Maybe yes, maybe no. I am glad that I have continued my good rapport with 2 Unity although sometimes, they climb over my head. And I have established good rapport with my form class. I think I need more working on for 2 Integrity. Slowly, but surely, I will get there! And my drama kids - what a lovely bunch! Put the rapport aside, I have to ask myself if I have been an effective teacher. Was I able to teach such that they understand?
It's time to think and reflect...
Well, for starters, I'm taking this one week break to reflect on what I could have done better. What worked? What didn't? Why didn't it work?
As I set goals for my students, I have also begun to sit back, take a breather and set goals for myself. What is it that I want to achieve this term? Have I achieved any goals myself? Why am I on this mission? And have I begun to head towards the goal of this mission that I have embarked on?
Maybe yes, maybe no. I am glad that I have continued my good rapport with 2 Unity although sometimes, they climb over my head. And I have established good rapport with my form class. I think I need more working on for 2 Integrity. Slowly, but surely, I will get there! And my drama kids - what a lovely bunch! Put the rapport aside, I have to ask myself if I have been an effective teacher. Was I able to teach such that they understand?
It's time to think and reflect...
25 February 2005
Morning Run
I must say it has sure been a while since I last ran, and so this morning's mass run with my students was a refreshing one, and one that brought back fond memories of old school days. It also got me reflecting about life...
As I observed whilst running, some students refused to run, deciding that they are not the "running type". Some chose to walk instead. Some were influenced by others, either to walk or run. Some were coerced, yet some were motivated just to do the best they could to do the run.
It got me reflecting about how we pursue our goals in life's journey. Each time we watch a sport's meet, we marvel at how someone else can run, or swim, or jump. Somewhere deep inside us, we wished we could be like that someone else.
In the very same way, I think some of my students and colleagues wished they could run faster. They wished they were fitter. They wished. But don't most of us do? I think the difference made is do we just wish, or do we do something about that wish?
For the runners who decided they were not the "running type", could they be a reflection of those of us who decide right from the start that we will fail even before trying? How do we know we are not the "running type" if we never try to put in all our best efforts to run? Similarly, how do we know we will succeed in anything if we never did try? Mostly, we are afraid to attempt anything because we are afraid to fail. Failing mars our image. Failing mars our perfect score. Failing highlights our weaknesses. Yes? No!
Failing per se is not good or bad, but what led to the failure and how we deal with it determines its value or non-value. If we tried our best yet we failed, we can stand proud and say - well, at least I tried. If we didn't put in our best effort, then hasn't it already given us the answer of what we should do? We deal with failure constructively. I once read somewhere that there is no such thing as failures, only lessons to be learnt. What have we learnt if we failed? Can we do anything about it? Have we put in our best?
Yet on the other hand, there is another group of people who haven't quite decided for themselves where they'd like to stand. And so they follow all those around them. If one runs, they will run. If one stops, they will stop.. Yes, my friend calls this the "Titanic Sydrome" - "You jump, I jump" *cringe*.
The problem with such a group of people is that they have not begun to develop their individualism. They are influenced by peer pressure. They cannot stand on their own two feet and say proudly - yes, this is what I stand for and believe in. It's about being confident about who you are and what you do.
I've told my students many a time when they are disruptive in class - if you want to fail, then go fail, don't pull your friends along with you. Someone who has a mind of his/her own will be able to decide for oneself what he or she wants. It's a matter of focus. It's a matter of choice.
I remember when I was in Secondary One, after the year end examinations, when the rest of my friends were playing in class, I had my mind on how to take care of the home whilst mum remained in hospital after an overdose of sleeping pills. My friends planned on going out, of having a chalet, of shopping. But I had my mind focused on my mum and brother. I had to be there for them, not to mention the fear of my dad. I stood my ground. Nevermind if it was uncool not to go out then, or if I wasn't included in the "in" group cos I couldn't afford their tea dances and expensive clothes, I stood my ground and believed in what I stood for and what I had to do.
If you think about it, life is like a run. Those who ran because they were forced to by their teachers were a reflection of those of us who go about in life because we were forced into such and such a job, such and such a life, such and such a partner.
But if you think about it, there were runners who were self-motivating as well. They just ran because they knew they could. They ran because they had their mind focused on it. And they did it well. And those that walked reminded us that we don't always need to rush through things to succeed, or do things in a haste. Somehow we will reach our goal as long as we're focused, systematic and persevering.
I want my students to think and reflect on their motivation level when they did the morning run - did you feel excited about the run?
- when you ran, how were you as a runner - passive, coerced, or active?
- use the running style you have identified and relate this back to your own life. How are you as a person as you go about achieving your life's goals.
Think about it the next time you run. What kind of runner in life are you? Run your life like a runner and head for the first always!
As I observed whilst running, some students refused to run, deciding that they are not the "running type". Some chose to walk instead. Some were influenced by others, either to walk or run. Some were coerced, yet some were motivated just to do the best they could to do the run.
It got me reflecting about how we pursue our goals in life's journey. Each time we watch a sport's meet, we marvel at how someone else can run, or swim, or jump. Somewhere deep inside us, we wished we could be like that someone else.
In the very same way, I think some of my students and colleagues wished they could run faster. They wished they were fitter. They wished. But don't most of us do? I think the difference made is do we just wish, or do we do something about that wish?
For the runners who decided they were not the "running type", could they be a reflection of those of us who decide right from the start that we will fail even before trying? How do we know we are not the "running type" if we never try to put in all our best efforts to run? Similarly, how do we know we will succeed in anything if we never did try? Mostly, we are afraid to attempt anything because we are afraid to fail. Failing mars our image. Failing mars our perfect score. Failing highlights our weaknesses. Yes? No!
Failing per se is not good or bad, but what led to the failure and how we deal with it determines its value or non-value. If we tried our best yet we failed, we can stand proud and say - well, at least I tried. If we didn't put in our best effort, then hasn't it already given us the answer of what we should do? We deal with failure constructively. I once read somewhere that there is no such thing as failures, only lessons to be learnt. What have we learnt if we failed? Can we do anything about it? Have we put in our best?
Yet on the other hand, there is another group of people who haven't quite decided for themselves where they'd like to stand. And so they follow all those around them. If one runs, they will run. If one stops, they will stop.. Yes, my friend calls this the "Titanic Sydrome" - "You jump, I jump" *cringe*.
The problem with such a group of people is that they have not begun to develop their individualism. They are influenced by peer pressure. They cannot stand on their own two feet and say proudly - yes, this is what I stand for and believe in. It's about being confident about who you are and what you do.
I've told my students many a time when they are disruptive in class - if you want to fail, then go fail, don't pull your friends along with you. Someone who has a mind of his/her own will be able to decide for oneself what he or she wants. It's a matter of focus. It's a matter of choice.
I remember when I was in Secondary One, after the year end examinations, when the rest of my friends were playing in class, I had my mind on how to take care of the home whilst mum remained in hospital after an overdose of sleeping pills. My friends planned on going out, of having a chalet, of shopping. But I had my mind focused on my mum and brother. I had to be there for them, not to mention the fear of my dad. I stood my ground. Nevermind if it was uncool not to go out then, or if I wasn't included in the "in" group cos I couldn't afford their tea dances and expensive clothes, I stood my ground and believed in what I stood for and what I had to do.
If you think about it, life is like a run. Those who ran because they were forced to by their teachers were a reflection of those of us who go about in life because we were forced into such and such a job, such and such a life, such and such a partner.
But if you think about it, there were runners who were self-motivating as well. They just ran because they knew they could. They ran because they had their mind focused on it. And they did it well. And those that walked reminded us that we don't always need to rush through things to succeed, or do things in a haste. Somehow we will reach our goal as long as we're focused, systematic and persevering.
I want my students to think and reflect on their motivation level when they did the morning run - did you feel excited about the run?
- when you ran, how were you as a runner - passive, coerced, or active?
- use the running style you have identified and relate this back to your own life. How are you as a person as you go about achieving your life's goals.
Think about it the next time you run. What kind of runner in life are you? Run your life like a runner and head for the first always!
13 February 2005
Valentine's Day
Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. It sure has been a while since I last experienced VDay being celebrated in school. I wonder what my kids will be up to. Let's see. The last I remembered celebrating that day in school was when I was in JC. I remember spending the night baking heart-shaped cookies to give away to my friends and classmates. The VDays that came after that were less memorable though along the way I did have that special someone to celebrate with. But somehow, it wasn't anything fancy since he didn't feel very strongly about celebrating it.
In any case, that was some 7 years back? I must say my most memorable Vday was the one last year, where I planned for Jeff to propose to Wendy - where I conspired to get her favourite food, music and flowers - set it all in her new home complete with tealight candles and jazz music. And how the taxi driver who sent me to her home said that "someday, somebody's gonna do the same thing for you." (You can read the whole story in February's archives if you know how to get there!)
Well, it's been a year since that happened, and hmmm... nobody has done that for me as yet. Well, I guess my gifts from God come in different packages!
Tomorrow, I will be celebrating VDay with three other girls - close friends of mine who reckon that being attached or married doesn't entail that they have to celebrate and be all romantic just on this particular day. They tell me love can be expressed on any other day just as well. I agree....
On another note, I guess on some other part of the island, two of my other friends will be celebrating this special day for the first time since he proposed to her. Yes, I've played cupid on my birthday two years back, and now I'm seeing the fruits of my labour! I'm glad for you, my friends!! I hear wedding bells!! How nice!!
Yes, I am still a romantic at heart!! Happy V Day to all my kids - I really shouldn't be encouraging teenage relationships, but go on, use this day to tell whoever you love that you love them, because you'll never know when the moment will slip you by.
:)
In any case, that was some 7 years back? I must say my most memorable Vday was the one last year, where I planned for Jeff to propose to Wendy - where I conspired to get her favourite food, music and flowers - set it all in her new home complete with tealight candles and jazz music. And how the taxi driver who sent me to her home said that "someday, somebody's gonna do the same thing for you." (You can read the whole story in February's archives if you know how to get there!)
Well, it's been a year since that happened, and hmmm... nobody has done that for me as yet. Well, I guess my gifts from God come in different packages!
Tomorrow, I will be celebrating VDay with three other girls - close friends of mine who reckon that being attached or married doesn't entail that they have to celebrate and be all romantic just on this particular day. They tell me love can be expressed on any other day just as well. I agree....
On another note, I guess on some other part of the island, two of my other friends will be celebrating this special day for the first time since he proposed to her. Yes, I've played cupid on my birthday two years back, and now I'm seeing the fruits of my labour! I'm glad for you, my friends!! I hear wedding bells!! How nice!!
Yes, I am still a romantic at heart!! Happy V Day to all my kids - I really shouldn't be encouraging teenage relationships, but go on, use this day to tell whoever you love that you love them, because you'll never know when the moment will slip you by.
:)
10 February 2005
New blog design and CNY so far...
I figured I'm tired of the old design, and I thought this one better reflects the starfish icon that I've been associated with... it took me a while to transfer the stuff over, and I must say, I'm quite proud of myself to able to do all of it in less than an hour!
Well, the new year has started out ok so far. I wouldn't say it's fantastic considering the fact that on new year's eve, my mum announced to all of us that her brother (my only uncle from my mum's side) has been diagnosed with nose cancer. It came as a shock to us as he has been well all along, disregarding the fact that he has lost 7kg over the past year. We didn't really think it was anything to take note of since he's always known to be thin.
And so when I got back from school, mum gathered my brother and I in a room and asked us if it was OK if we pooled together what we had to help cover for uncle's medical bills. She asked us if it was OK if we let uncle and his wife stay over at our place. She asked if it was OK if she stopped work for a while to take care of uncle as he undergoes radiotherapy and possibly, chemotherapy. My brother and I were of course supportive of whatever mum decided. We understood that uncle always treated us as his children, having no children on his own. It was the least we could do.
She was relieved to see that we were so supportive. Across the island, my cousin sent her an sms telling her not to worry cos she too will support in whatever way she could.
Reunion dinner was a little tense as nobody really knew if they should bring up the issue or not. Thankfully, the ice was broken and we all started talking as if it was nothing serious. Some brought out instances of friends suffering from cancer for the past 17 years. To uncle, it meant that he wasn't really going to die so soon. There was hope.
But deep in our hearts, we are preparing for the worst. If all works out well, we'll thank God for giving him the chance to live a longer life. If not, we'd thank God too for not prolonging his suffering.
Uncle told my mum that he dreamt of my grandmother, and she told him that she was going to take him "home". We all knew what that meant, but still, we pray, that uncle thinks positively and do what's best for him.
For now, for everything that has happened, it has brought me to reflect how precious life can be. I've begun to think if this were my last days on earth, what will I do?
I'm glad that my family has rose up to the occassion to show generosity, love and compassion. It isn't so bad a start of the new year after all on hindsight. I feel my family bonding together again.
Let's appreciate what we have, and count our blessings...
Well, the new year has started out ok so far. I wouldn't say it's fantastic considering the fact that on new year's eve, my mum announced to all of us that her brother (my only uncle from my mum's side) has been diagnosed with nose cancer. It came as a shock to us as he has been well all along, disregarding the fact that he has lost 7kg over the past year. We didn't really think it was anything to take note of since he's always known to be thin.
And so when I got back from school, mum gathered my brother and I in a room and asked us if it was OK if we pooled together what we had to help cover for uncle's medical bills. She asked us if it was OK if we let uncle and his wife stay over at our place. She asked if it was OK if she stopped work for a while to take care of uncle as he undergoes radiotherapy and possibly, chemotherapy. My brother and I were of course supportive of whatever mum decided. We understood that uncle always treated us as his children, having no children on his own. It was the least we could do.
She was relieved to see that we were so supportive. Across the island, my cousin sent her an sms telling her not to worry cos she too will support in whatever way she could.
Reunion dinner was a little tense as nobody really knew if they should bring up the issue or not. Thankfully, the ice was broken and we all started talking as if it was nothing serious. Some brought out instances of friends suffering from cancer for the past 17 years. To uncle, it meant that he wasn't really going to die so soon. There was hope.
But deep in our hearts, we are preparing for the worst. If all works out well, we'll thank God for giving him the chance to live a longer life. If not, we'd thank God too for not prolonging his suffering.
Uncle told my mum that he dreamt of my grandmother, and she told him that she was going to take him "home". We all knew what that meant, but still, we pray, that uncle thinks positively and do what's best for him.
For now, for everything that has happened, it has brought me to reflect how precious life can be. I've begun to think if this were my last days on earth, what will I do?
I'm glad that my family has rose up to the occassion to show generosity, love and compassion. It isn't so bad a start of the new year after all on hindsight. I feel my family bonding together again.
Let's appreciate what we have, and count our blessings...
07 February 2005
happy new year
I really should be baking right now. Every year at this time, my granduncle waits in anticipation as I deliver to him without fail since some six years ago freshly baked sugee cake complete with extra almonds, brandy and decorated with mandarin oranges made out of marzipan.
I bask in pride as I see my relatives relish my creation, a recipe inherited from one of my mum's friend who guarded it with much secrecy since many would want to make a living out baking the dying recipe. Fortunately for me, she favoured me, considering me "kwai" (or obedient in teochew). She told my mum, "I'll only give Deborah the recipe". I felt fortunate.
Since then, I've received requests from relatives and friends far and wide, asking me to sell the cake to them, but I refused. I didn't believe in selling anything I baked. Nevertheless, I didn't guard the recipe as much as my mum's friend did. I gladly faxed over or photocopied the handwritten recipe, now all yellow, crumpled and with stains from vanilla essence. Still I kept it as such. It felt more authentic keeping a recipe on a yellowish piece of paper.
Chinese New Year reminds me of the days when I resigned from Raffles Hotel without a job. Grace and I decided to sell pineapple tarts to make a living whilst finding another job. We started taking orders and sampled with recipes. We didn't know what we did but the orders started pouring in, and before we could say no, we had expanded our business to included other new year cookies too - all authetically made by hand. I was working 24/7. Going to the market every morning to get 10 fresh pineapples from the uncle at the fruit stall was de rigour. And when all was done, we did our calculations, split the profits and took home each about $100, not to mention a lack of sleep and life for two months.
Perhaps it was from that day on did I decide I would never sell what I baked. It's not worth it. But more so, I believe that when I bake, I have to add in lots of love in it for it to turn out nice. How can I put in love in something I'm making a profit from? It just didn't seem right.
And so, now I just give away the stuff I bake. Tonight, on the baker's list is four loaves of sugee cake and one loaf of banana bread. If time permits, maybe a batch of brownies.... I don't think I'd be sleeping much tonight. It's a good thing I don't have to teach tomorrow. I'll squeeze in some marking in between the baking...
To all my students - XING NIAN KUAI LE, XUE YE JIN BU, SHEN TI JIAN KANG!
(there you have it, me speaking mandarin to you!! :P)
:)
I bask in pride as I see my relatives relish my creation, a recipe inherited from one of my mum's friend who guarded it with much secrecy since many would want to make a living out baking the dying recipe. Fortunately for me, she favoured me, considering me "kwai" (or obedient in teochew). She told my mum, "I'll only give Deborah the recipe". I felt fortunate.
Since then, I've received requests from relatives and friends far and wide, asking me to sell the cake to them, but I refused. I didn't believe in selling anything I baked. Nevertheless, I didn't guard the recipe as much as my mum's friend did. I gladly faxed over or photocopied the handwritten recipe, now all yellow, crumpled and with stains from vanilla essence. Still I kept it as such. It felt more authentic keeping a recipe on a yellowish piece of paper.
Chinese New Year reminds me of the days when I resigned from Raffles Hotel without a job. Grace and I decided to sell pineapple tarts to make a living whilst finding another job. We started taking orders and sampled with recipes. We didn't know what we did but the orders started pouring in, and before we could say no, we had expanded our business to included other new year cookies too - all authetically made by hand. I was working 24/7. Going to the market every morning to get 10 fresh pineapples from the uncle at the fruit stall was de rigour. And when all was done, we did our calculations, split the profits and took home each about $100, not to mention a lack of sleep and life for two months.
Perhaps it was from that day on did I decide I would never sell what I baked. It's not worth it. But more so, I believe that when I bake, I have to add in lots of love in it for it to turn out nice. How can I put in love in something I'm making a profit from? It just didn't seem right.
And so, now I just give away the stuff I bake. Tonight, on the baker's list is four loaves of sugee cake and one loaf of banana bread. If time permits, maybe a batch of brownies.... I don't think I'd be sleeping much tonight. It's a good thing I don't have to teach tomorrow. I'll squeeze in some marking in between the baking...
To all my students - XING NIAN KUAI LE, XUE YE JIN BU, SHEN TI JIAN KANG!
(there you have it, me speaking mandarin to you!! :P)
:)
01 February 2005
Dear God...
Dear God
Thank you for today. Today's my brother's birthday and I pray that you will bless him.
God, I was angry today. Well, actually more like frustrated. Frustrated because one of my Sec 2 classes didn't seem to be listening during the presentation I had planned for them. This is not the first time they have acted this way. It's been five weeks since I started teaching them, and I thought I should be doing better in establishing rapport with them. Somehow, I can't seem to connect with them the way I want to.
But God, you are kind. Thank you for blessing me with the other two classes I teach. Today, one of the students from the other Sec 2 class reassured me that things will be better. He said, "Last year when you first taught us, it wasn't like this easy too." He is right. Rapport takes time to build. Maybe it's me being impatient again. I guess it's easier for me to connect with my form class too cos I taught some of them last year and I've spent more time with them as compared to the new Sec 2 class.
God, I'm beginning to feel drained teaching the new Sec 2 class. Thankfully, I have the other class to replenish the lost energy. Today, as I stepped into the old Sec 2 class, I looked at them in a different light. The faces were familiar, and they were familiar with my rules. As they completed their worksheets, I felt a need to want to nurture them more. In a way, I felt that I owned them. Yes, I think I'm beginning to be fond of this class. Reading through their answers on the inner monologue was a joy. Bless them, Lord. They have so much potential in them. Guide me so that I may guide them, to bring out the best in them, to help them fulfil their dreams.
Tomorrow is a new day, God. Please bless all my students with wisdom, patience and grace.
Thank you God for today. Please continue to give me patience as I journey through this life doing your work.
:)
PS - God, my optical mouse and mini hifi and microwave oven's spoilt... :(
Thank you for today. Today's my brother's birthday and I pray that you will bless him.
God, I was angry today. Well, actually more like frustrated. Frustrated because one of my Sec 2 classes didn't seem to be listening during the presentation I had planned for them. This is not the first time they have acted this way. It's been five weeks since I started teaching them, and I thought I should be doing better in establishing rapport with them. Somehow, I can't seem to connect with them the way I want to.
But God, you are kind. Thank you for blessing me with the other two classes I teach. Today, one of the students from the other Sec 2 class reassured me that things will be better. He said, "Last year when you first taught us, it wasn't like this easy too." He is right. Rapport takes time to build. Maybe it's me being impatient again. I guess it's easier for me to connect with my form class too cos I taught some of them last year and I've spent more time with them as compared to the new Sec 2 class.
God, I'm beginning to feel drained teaching the new Sec 2 class. Thankfully, I have the other class to replenish the lost energy. Today, as I stepped into the old Sec 2 class, I looked at them in a different light. The faces were familiar, and they were familiar with my rules. As they completed their worksheets, I felt a need to want to nurture them more. In a way, I felt that I owned them. Yes, I think I'm beginning to be fond of this class. Reading through their answers on the inner monologue was a joy. Bless them, Lord. They have so much potential in them. Guide me so that I may guide them, to bring out the best in them, to help them fulfil their dreams.
Tomorrow is a new day, God. Please bless all my students with wisdom, patience and grace.
Thank you God for today. Please continue to give me patience as I journey through this life doing your work.
:)
PS - God, my optical mouse and mini hifi and microwave oven's spoilt... :(
28 January 2005
Melancholic
I typed in this word in MS Word, used the thesaurus function and a barrage of synonyms came my way. Melancholic - depression, sad, feeling in the dumps... and the list goes on.
Well, I wonder if it has anything to do with the full moon, or the cold weather, that I've been feeling melancholic lately. People have been asking if I was OK, if I was enjoying what I was doing. In an almost automatic reply, I answered yes. I'm just tired.
Just two days back, I met my P when she was leaving school. She asked if I was coping OK. Yes, I said. Maybe she wasn't quite convinced, considering I looked like an over-drained teacher at half past five with a stack of books and half-closed eyes.
Maybe it's a whole mix of things bothering me at this moment. Maybe. Maybe it's the stacks of marking, the lesson plans, the scheme of works, my inablility to establish the rapport I want with my other Sec 2 class, or the immense pressure and books piling up on my table. Something is making me feel melancholic and as much as I want to get out of this awful feeling, I don't seem to be able to.
I hate it when I sense negative energy in me cos I really don't want to be passing it on to the kids I teach. That's the last thing I want for them. I want synergy. I want them to feel energized, and at the end of the lesson, feel that yes, I did enjoy that lesson. But I can't seem to be doing that as much as I want to. I hate the feeling of having to scold students because they get on my nerves for disrupting my class, or I hate the feeling of having to put them in their places. I hate to raise my voice just to get their attention. But I've been doing that. At the end of this hectic week, right at the last lesson, I found myself coughing hard and not being able to or rather not wanting to shout anymore. In a way, I'm glad it's Friday.
Maybe it's me wanting too much. Maybe it's the perfectionist streak in me again. I remember my co-operating teacher telling me when I was doing my practicum at was overly stressed by the fact that I couldn't get the kids to do what I wanted them to do. She told me that I had to learn to deal with my disappointments. Sometimes, it's me, not them.
I realised what she said was true. Maybe I do have to let go sometimes.
I remember Uncle Joel telling me this, and I will never forget it. He said, sometimes, we have to take a step back so we can make a leap forward.
Maybe, it's time I took a step back?
My P ended off our conversation that day by looking at me from the corner of her eyes, "I truly hope you are enjoying yourself."
Yes, I am. I love the kids I teach. I look at their faces and I wished they could have the motivation and drive to want to excel. I wished that they could push themselves harder, and see the potential I see in each of them. I wished they could learn the ablility of balancing work and play. Most of all, I wished that they would be moulded into beautiful young adults - because that is what I see in each of them.
Sometimes, I feel like I am a sculptor, moulding these students under my care into the art form they ought to be. Sometimes, I feel that if they don't evolve into the work of art they are meant to be, than I feel as a sculptor, I ought to take responsibility.
Just a while ago, as I saw Alfred, Terence and a bunch of other boys (I couldn't quite see from up there!) walk out of school, I couldn't help it but let a smile edge across my face. I thought - they may be in different classes this year, but they still continue to keep the bond between them. It just warmed my heart to see them.. Really.
Now, that's something to smile about... Well, it's the end of the week. I do hope next week will get better!
Well, I wonder if it has anything to do with the full moon, or the cold weather, that I've been feeling melancholic lately. People have been asking if I was OK, if I was enjoying what I was doing. In an almost automatic reply, I answered yes. I'm just tired.
Just two days back, I met my P when she was leaving school. She asked if I was coping OK. Yes, I said. Maybe she wasn't quite convinced, considering I looked like an over-drained teacher at half past five with a stack of books and half-closed eyes.
Maybe it's a whole mix of things bothering me at this moment. Maybe. Maybe it's the stacks of marking, the lesson plans, the scheme of works, my inablility to establish the rapport I want with my other Sec 2 class, or the immense pressure and books piling up on my table. Something is making me feel melancholic and as much as I want to get out of this awful feeling, I don't seem to be able to.
I hate it when I sense negative energy in me cos I really don't want to be passing it on to the kids I teach. That's the last thing I want for them. I want synergy. I want them to feel energized, and at the end of the lesson, feel that yes, I did enjoy that lesson. But I can't seem to be doing that as much as I want to. I hate the feeling of having to scold students because they get on my nerves for disrupting my class, or I hate the feeling of having to put them in their places. I hate to raise my voice just to get their attention. But I've been doing that. At the end of this hectic week, right at the last lesson, I found myself coughing hard and not being able to or rather not wanting to shout anymore. In a way, I'm glad it's Friday.
Maybe it's me wanting too much. Maybe it's the perfectionist streak in me again. I remember my co-operating teacher telling me when I was doing my practicum at was overly stressed by the fact that I couldn't get the kids to do what I wanted them to do. She told me that I had to learn to deal with my disappointments. Sometimes, it's me, not them.
I realised what she said was true. Maybe I do have to let go sometimes.
I remember Uncle Joel telling me this, and I will never forget it. He said, sometimes, we have to take a step back so we can make a leap forward.
Maybe, it's time I took a step back?
My P ended off our conversation that day by looking at me from the corner of her eyes, "I truly hope you are enjoying yourself."
Yes, I am. I love the kids I teach. I look at their faces and I wished they could have the motivation and drive to want to excel. I wished that they could push themselves harder, and see the potential I see in each of them. I wished they could learn the ablility of balancing work and play. Most of all, I wished that they would be moulded into beautiful young adults - because that is what I see in each of them.
Sometimes, I feel like I am a sculptor, moulding these students under my care into the art form they ought to be. Sometimes, I feel that if they don't evolve into the work of art they are meant to be, than I feel as a sculptor, I ought to take responsibility.
Just a while ago, as I saw Alfred, Terence and a bunch of other boys (I couldn't quite see from up there!) walk out of school, I couldn't help it but let a smile edge across my face. I thought - they may be in different classes this year, but they still continue to keep the bond between them. It just warmed my heart to see them.. Really.
Now, that's something to smile about... Well, it's the end of the week. I do hope next week will get better!
23 January 2005
Preparing for Lessons
The week has been a rollercoaster ride, filled with joys and tears. And now, as I sit in the comfort of my papa-san chair, I feel that my room looks like a typhoon-swept mess, with papers and books lying all around. My nose is runny, and I stop once in a while whilst blogging to stifle a sneeze.
The weather is beginning to get warm, and I am beginning to miss the cool breeze and air over the past weeks. It reminded me of my days back in Hawaii - sunny yet dry and cool. It felt like Singapore in a perpetual air-conditioned state.
In any case, the weekend was spent preparing for lessons. It's been a long while since I did that much intensive research, even going down to Bras Basah Complex to check out the second hand bookshops there to make sure they sell the books I told my kids to get for their Reading Circle Programme. I am determined to start the Programme with my Sec 2 kids. I wonder how they will take to Underground to Canada by Barbara Smucker - the text that I read in Sec 2 myself that got me looking at the stars til this very day - the North Star - the brightest star of the "Big Dipper" that lead thousands of slaves to freedom.
As I did my research over the Internet today, a warm feeling of nostalgia crept over me as I relish the days where I ploughed through Literature texts, analysing and interpreting. Indeed, it was one of my favourite subjects in school. Ironic, considering the fact that I don't really like to read!
I don't believe that I have benn on the Internet for more than 10 hours just ploughing through links to create my lessons. Well, I hope it's worth the effort!
Tomorrow will be a fresh start to the week - the EVEN week, where my time-table is much heavier than that in the ODD week. Another five days to plough through. I WILL survive!
The weather is beginning to get warm, and I am beginning to miss the cool breeze and air over the past weeks. It reminded me of my days back in Hawaii - sunny yet dry and cool. It felt like Singapore in a perpetual air-conditioned state.
In any case, the weekend was spent preparing for lessons. It's been a long while since I did that much intensive research, even going down to Bras Basah Complex to check out the second hand bookshops there to make sure they sell the books I told my kids to get for their Reading Circle Programme. I am determined to start the Programme with my Sec 2 kids. I wonder how they will take to Underground to Canada by Barbara Smucker - the text that I read in Sec 2 myself that got me looking at the stars til this very day - the North Star - the brightest star of the "Big Dipper" that lead thousands of slaves to freedom.
As I did my research over the Internet today, a warm feeling of nostalgia crept over me as I relish the days where I ploughed through Literature texts, analysing and interpreting. Indeed, it was one of my favourite subjects in school. Ironic, considering the fact that I don't really like to read!
I don't believe that I have benn on the Internet for more than 10 hours just ploughing through links to create my lessons. Well, I hope it's worth the effort!
Tomorrow will be a fresh start to the week - the EVEN week, where my time-table is much heavier than that in the ODD week. Another five days to plough through. I WILL survive!
20 January 2005
Taking a break...
Thank God for the Hari Raya holiday! It has been a really hectic week which started last week. Although the time-table's lighter on this odd week, the series of meetings in the afternoons kept me mostly away from my desk, and resulted in a pile of marking to do - 120 books to be exact. For a moment, I wished I had the Saturday still to clear marking. But with the five-day work week, that's kinda impossible.
As I signed out of school today, I realised that I've been in there for 12 hours! I hardly sat on my chair today! Well, as the bell rang to signal that the school was going to be locked up, I gathered as much work as I could and stuffed it into my bag. Armed with my laptop, I left school with twenty other things on my mind I know I need to follow up on besides marking... EL meeting minutes, update of my record book, lesson planning for next three weeks, answer key for comprehension passage and summary, looking through writing drafts, preparing for next week's lessons on project work, the reading circle... and the list goes on. So much for a five-day work week. It seems teach less and learn more is not doing us teachers any good so far!
Anyway, I had fun with my kids this week. I invented a game I call vocabulary survivor. It was a game I devised in 10 minutes cos I was desperate to cover something besides narratives in class that was boring myself, if not the kids I teach! After the lesson, my kids felt so energized competing with each other to give synonym to words that they asked for more... Wow!
Today, I started my Sec 3 class with their reading circles. I regrouped them, much to the displeasure of some. But I explained my rationale and hope they will take to it. My heart warms when I see them interacting with each other. Recommending books to them makes me miss my Literature days back in JC. I remember my Lit tutor, Mr Tan. It was through him that I learnt my first long and hard word (pun intend *tongue in cheek*), aphrodisiac. Suddenly, everything we read had a sexual inuendo to it. And how I loved Practical Criticism cos we didn't have to read any book. We just had to criticize and interpret whatever that was given to us!
Anyway, as I sit in the comforts of my papa-san chair, writing my blog and listening to the serene sounds of Kevin Kern in the background, my eyelids are weighing down over my eyes. Yes, I'm tired... Maybe I should take a break now..
Starfish... out!
As I signed out of school today, I realised that I've been in there for 12 hours! I hardly sat on my chair today! Well, as the bell rang to signal that the school was going to be locked up, I gathered as much work as I could and stuffed it into my bag. Armed with my laptop, I left school with twenty other things on my mind I know I need to follow up on besides marking... EL meeting minutes, update of my record book, lesson planning for next three weeks, answer key for comprehension passage and summary, looking through writing drafts, preparing for next week's lessons on project work, the reading circle... and the list goes on. So much for a five-day work week. It seems teach less and learn more is not doing us teachers any good so far!
Anyway, I had fun with my kids this week. I invented a game I call vocabulary survivor. It was a game I devised in 10 minutes cos I was desperate to cover something besides narratives in class that was boring myself, if not the kids I teach! After the lesson, my kids felt so energized competing with each other to give synonym to words that they asked for more... Wow!
Today, I started my Sec 3 class with their reading circles. I regrouped them, much to the displeasure of some. But I explained my rationale and hope they will take to it. My heart warms when I see them interacting with each other. Recommending books to them makes me miss my Literature days back in JC. I remember my Lit tutor, Mr Tan. It was through him that I learnt my first long and hard word (pun intend *tongue in cheek*), aphrodisiac. Suddenly, everything we read had a sexual inuendo to it. And how I loved Practical Criticism cos we didn't have to read any book. We just had to criticize and interpret whatever that was given to us!
Anyway, as I sit in the comforts of my papa-san chair, writing my blog and listening to the serene sounds of Kevin Kern in the background, my eyelids are weighing down over my eyes. Yes, I'm tired... Maybe I should take a break now..
Starfish... out!
08 January 2005
A Wave of Emotions
How could I not have my own thoughts about the tidal wave tragedy? Over the past few days, I've made my students pen down their thoughts and feelings about the tragedy. As I marked a few journals yesterday, it dawned on me that each of us felt for the victims in our own special way, and given a choice, we each wanted to contribute to help...
For me, the news of the tidal wave came as a surprise. Boxing Day - where the Christmas festivities had not died down - seemed like an inopportune time for a tragedy to happen. In the midst of my celebrations, I felt guilty not sparing a thought for those swept under the waves.
Over the days, reality sank in. Pictures of mass destruction, dead bodies and grief were captured in print and media. What was the world coming to? Who was to blame?
Nobody can quite comprehend why it should happen, although most understood how it happened. Questions of "why God?" came to mind. In church, sessions to explain if it was a will of God, or an act of God were planned. People needed to know answers.
As for me, I've always lived by the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. We may not know the reason at that point in time, but some day, the reason will come to light. My belief in some higher order up there and the trust I have given Him to know what's best keeps me going although things may not seem a bed of roses at times.
In a tragedy like this, my prayer is to ask God to give strength and hope to those of have lost their loved ones, to bless the souls of the departed, and to give wisdom to those governing the rescue operations and managing the funds generously donated by people all around the world.
On reflection, it seems like a cruel paradox that a tragedy involving so many countries in the Asian region, claiming thousands of lives, is acting as the binding force of all the nations that was once at war with each other a few months back. As leaders of countries represent their people, millions of dollars are pledged and donated to provide aid in terms of clean water, medication, clothes etc. Around the world, the compassion and humanity of millions are seen as people donate in cash and kind to help those affected. All are contributing in their own special way, but all have just one goal in mind - to help.
My heart warms as I think about this. Yet, I cry when I hear of how some others have decided to exploit the situation to boost business sales, or worst, to kidnap orphaned children to sell. Have these people no heart? Where is their respect for humanity?
I think the tragedy has struck our hearts in one way or another, some more so than others. For me, as I part with cash in donation to help, I find myself less than worthy to be writing on something like this. Given a choice, I wish I could be doing more - maybe even be there amidst the mass graveyard of decomposing bodies, or comforting the grieving, or packing supplies, or rendering first aid. I wish I could be there to help in person. I wish I could.
But as I reside in the safety of this small island, all I can do now is to pray. And I urge all of you to join me in prayer in whatever way you want, to whichever God you believe in.
Pray that the grieving be comforted,
That the departed rest in peace,
That the helpers be given strength,
And leaders blessed with wisdom.
Pray that hearts be filled with compassion,
And hands be blessed with gentleness.
Pray that sicknesses be cured,
And injuries healed.
Pray that love be spread through the world
As all of us unite
To mourn the loss of thousands.
Today, let us pray.
For me, the news of the tidal wave came as a surprise. Boxing Day - where the Christmas festivities had not died down - seemed like an inopportune time for a tragedy to happen. In the midst of my celebrations, I felt guilty not sparing a thought for those swept under the waves.
Over the days, reality sank in. Pictures of mass destruction, dead bodies and grief were captured in print and media. What was the world coming to? Who was to blame?
Nobody can quite comprehend why it should happen, although most understood how it happened. Questions of "why God?" came to mind. In church, sessions to explain if it was a will of God, or an act of God were planned. People needed to know answers.
As for me, I've always lived by the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. We may not know the reason at that point in time, but some day, the reason will come to light. My belief in some higher order up there and the trust I have given Him to know what's best keeps me going although things may not seem a bed of roses at times.
In a tragedy like this, my prayer is to ask God to give strength and hope to those of have lost their loved ones, to bless the souls of the departed, and to give wisdom to those governing the rescue operations and managing the funds generously donated by people all around the world.
On reflection, it seems like a cruel paradox that a tragedy involving so many countries in the Asian region, claiming thousands of lives, is acting as the binding force of all the nations that was once at war with each other a few months back. As leaders of countries represent their people, millions of dollars are pledged and donated to provide aid in terms of clean water, medication, clothes etc. Around the world, the compassion and humanity of millions are seen as people donate in cash and kind to help those affected. All are contributing in their own special way, but all have just one goal in mind - to help.
My heart warms as I think about this. Yet, I cry when I hear of how some others have decided to exploit the situation to boost business sales, or worst, to kidnap orphaned children to sell. Have these people no heart? Where is their respect for humanity?
I think the tragedy has struck our hearts in one way or another, some more so than others. For me, as I part with cash in donation to help, I find myself less than worthy to be writing on something like this. Given a choice, I wish I could be doing more - maybe even be there amidst the mass graveyard of decomposing bodies, or comforting the grieving, or packing supplies, or rendering first aid. I wish I could be there to help in person. I wish I could.
But as I reside in the safety of this small island, all I can do now is to pray. And I urge all of you to join me in prayer in whatever way you want, to whichever God you believe in.
Pray that the grieving be comforted,
That the departed rest in peace,
That the helpers be given strength,
And leaders blessed with wisdom.
Pray that hearts be filled with compassion,
And hands be blessed with gentleness.
Pray that sicknesses be cured,
And injuries healed.
Pray that love be spread through the world
As all of us unite
To mourn the loss of thousands.
Today, let us pray.
07 January 2005
How was your day?
I shared with my class a habit I learnt from a friend quite some time back, and that was to ask, "How was your day?" My initial replies used to be - "OK" or "Bad"... Until I began to realise how my friend would answer when the question was asked in turn.
My friend would focus on the positive aspects of the day, the learning points. I soon realised that yes, everyday is a lesson for us to learn and keep. Even a bad day is a lesson by itself, and if so, what makes it so "bad"?
I challenged my class to end the day asking someone else, "How was your day?" and also ask themselves, "What did I learn today?"
Thanks for asking how my day was - It was good. It was good that I was able to share a part of my life with you. And though I may not have touched the lives of all of, at least I knew I had touched some... much like the starfish story... "I made a difference to this one!"
My friend would focus on the positive aspects of the day, the learning points. I soon realised that yes, everyday is a lesson for us to learn and keep. Even a bad day is a lesson by itself, and if so, what makes it so "bad"?
I challenged my class to end the day asking someone else, "How was your day?" and also ask themselves, "What did I learn today?"
Thanks for asking how my day was - It was good. It was good that I was able to share a part of my life with you. And though I may not have touched the lives of all of, at least I knew I had touched some... much like the starfish story... "I made a difference to this one!"
06 January 2005
A new year, a new change
Yes, school has started and for most, they are back to their own classes. As form teacher of Sec 3 Diligence, I have inherited some of my old students from Sec 2 Sincerity. It's nice to see a few familiar faces. :)
As I got my class to get to know each other better, I found myself reflecting on how each of them could be feeling inside. Was it the new year, or was it that they came from different classes and was trying to get accustomed to unfamliar faces and surroundings.
Change - whoever said it was easy? It must have not been easy for some to move to a new class where faces are not that familiar, and the task of getting to know "strangers" begin all over again. New teachers, new subjects, new classmates... It must be overwhelming for some.
Change for us adults isn't as easy too. As a teacher, I'm also grappling with new challenges that face me daily - new responsibilities and doing things I am not accustomed to. Sometimes, these new challenges go against the flow of things that have been done before. And I have to psyche myself to carry on in this journey as I know only then will I be able to mould myself better, stretch my potential and in short, grow.
I once told someone - Life is a learning journey. Everything that comes by our way, no matter how small teaches us something, even setbacks. Yes, even if we're having a hard day, that in itself is a learning experience.
Let's ask ourselves daily - what have I learnt today?
As I got my class to get to know each other better, I found myself reflecting on how each of them could be feeling inside. Was it the new year, or was it that they came from different classes and was trying to get accustomed to unfamliar faces and surroundings.
Change - whoever said it was easy? It must have not been easy for some to move to a new class where faces are not that familiar, and the task of getting to know "strangers" begin all over again. New teachers, new subjects, new classmates... It must be overwhelming for some.
Change for us adults isn't as easy too. As a teacher, I'm also grappling with new challenges that face me daily - new responsibilities and doing things I am not accustomed to. Sometimes, these new challenges go against the flow of things that have been done before. And I have to psyche myself to carry on in this journey as I know only then will I be able to mould myself better, stretch my potential and in short, grow.
I once told someone - Life is a learning journey. Everything that comes by our way, no matter how small teaches us something, even setbacks. Yes, even if we're having a hard day, that in itself is a learning experience.
Let's ask ourselves daily - what have I learnt today?
29 December 2004
School's starting!
Yes, reality has struck. School IS starting. After a few meetings and a whole day workshop, I finally realised that school is indeed starting next week. Yes, in less than a week! Where did the holiday go? Was there one?
Well, at least I did have an enjoyable Christmas, spending time with my close friends again... Pris, Roy, Lee Yee, my godson Keith... Small, but nice gathering. It's been a while since we last met! And now that both of them are pregnant, I can imagine my house next year when they visit again! Keith's already walking, and he can say "good" with his hands! How adorable!!
My table's not cleared yet.. I really should get down to it. Tomorrow's another long day of staff meeting, and another meeting after that to discuss the syllabus...
Really, where did the holiday go? I'm beginning to miss it already!!
Kids - looking forward to seeing all of you again!! Have you been studying hard?
Well, at least I did have an enjoyable Christmas, spending time with my close friends again... Pris, Roy, Lee Yee, my godson Keith... Small, but nice gathering. It's been a while since we last met! And now that both of them are pregnant, I can imagine my house next year when they visit again! Keith's already walking, and he can say "good" with his hands! How adorable!!
My table's not cleared yet.. I really should get down to it. Tomorrow's another long day of staff meeting, and another meeting after that to discuss the syllabus...
Really, where did the holiday go? I'm beginning to miss it already!!
Kids - looking forward to seeing all of you again!! Have you been studying hard?
13 December 2004
Sick again...
It's either me or the weather. The flu bug caught me again. This time, worse than before. Last night, I was down with a high fever. But I was shivering under three layers of clothes and my fennel blanket. I popped two pills into my mouth, gulped down a big mug of water and went to bed.
This morning, I got ten hours later, feeling sore all over. The head is giddy with the loads of things I've yet to do and the leftover effect of the medication. The throat is sore and the nose still runny. All I wanted to do is sleep.
But I couldn't. Mum frowned as she entered the room cos it's still in a pile of mess. I got the hint and despite my aching body, I quietly cleaned up the room... well, most of it. Some things are in boxes still, but I it's in a much better shape than it was. In a way, I enjoy seeing the place cleared up too.
I didn't get much sleep cos phone calls and smses kept interrupting me. Also, the pending work kept me awake. It's hard to pull yourself away from work when you have so much to do. I really want to get down to school to get the English package printed out, but I can't seem to bring myself to... maybe the lack of aircon in the staff room prevents me from going there? I wonder...
Feeling sick always makes me reflect on life. Strangely, it seems like nature's way of asking me to take a break. It's as if some higher power up there is telling me, "My child, take it slow for a while..." It reminds me of the time I was cooped up at the CDC during the SARS period for 10 days, and how the viral fever got me staying at home for almost a month.
Well, as for now, I'll just take as much rest as I can so come January when the school term starts, I won't fall ill.
Gotta get some rest now... You take care, and don't let the flu bug catch you!
This morning, I got ten hours later, feeling sore all over. The head is giddy with the loads of things I've yet to do and the leftover effect of the medication. The throat is sore and the nose still runny. All I wanted to do is sleep.
But I couldn't. Mum frowned as she entered the room cos it's still in a pile of mess. I got the hint and despite my aching body, I quietly cleaned up the room... well, most of it. Some things are in boxes still, but I it's in a much better shape than it was. In a way, I enjoy seeing the place cleared up too.
I didn't get much sleep cos phone calls and smses kept interrupting me. Also, the pending work kept me awake. It's hard to pull yourself away from work when you have so much to do. I really want to get down to school to get the English package printed out, but I can't seem to bring myself to... maybe the lack of aircon in the staff room prevents me from going there? I wonder...
Feeling sick always makes me reflect on life. Strangely, it seems like nature's way of asking me to take a break. It's as if some higher power up there is telling me, "My child, take it slow for a while..." It reminds me of the time I was cooped up at the CDC during the SARS period for 10 days, and how the viral fever got me staying at home for almost a month.
Well, as for now, I'll just take as much rest as I can so come January when the school term starts, I won't fall ill.
Gotta get some rest now... You take care, and don't let the flu bug catch you!
09 December 2004
I did it!!
Yes, I finally finished my English package, and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing so much today. You see, it's all in the mind. And I'm glad I overcame that mental barrier, sacrificed some sleep and yes, I'm ALLLLLL done! :)
Gotta get some sleep now...
Out of here!
:)
deb
Gotta get some sleep now...
Out of here!
:)
deb
08 December 2004
English Package
I am just halfway through the English package. Yes, I see some fellow teacher of mine wagging his finger at me. Yes, I am the worst teacher.. I am embarrassed. And with just two more days to go to my final deadline, my nerves are in a wreck. How did I get myself into such a tight spot?
But like the way I've always done things, I will get there. I will do it. I will meet my deadline, come what may! I will fight on, and be a shining example to the kids I teach, that despite the odds, the greatest enemy is yourself. And I aim to overcome this enemy in me - the thought that I will fail.
I will not fail, come what may! I will fight on! Now, back to my books...
starfish signing out!
But like the way I've always done things, I will get there. I will do it. I will meet my deadline, come what may! I will fight on, and be a shining example to the kids I teach, that despite the odds, the greatest enemy is yourself. And I aim to overcome this enemy in me - the thought that I will fail.
I will not fail, come what may! I will fight on! Now, back to my books...
starfish signing out!