Being positive!

Someone threw a wet blanket at me a few days back when I told him that I quit my job to go into teaching because I wanted to inspire and motivate teenagers. "That's idealistic, don't you think?", he asked.

He told me that when he was younger, he had also wanted to do that too, but four years later, he figures, why bother? Apparently, he had been disillusioned by what he has seen, and experienced, so much so that his world now is filled with nothing but cynicism.

I shared with him my stories of teaching during practicum, and how I have been disillusioned. Like him, I have asked the question of "why bother?" when the kids I teach didn't seem to appreciate all the sleepness nights and hard work I had put in; the emotional energy expanded caring for them and worrying for their needs. But I also shared with him, "As long as I don't give up, there is still the possibility of touching lives and inspiring them."

He couldn't argue with that. He nodded in agreement, and told me that maybe, he should mix with people like myself more often to have positive energy rubbed onto him. In my heart, I was glad I made my point. It occurred to me that not only did I touch his life in some sense, but it also renewed my conviction and commitment in achieving this goal. It wasn't just words spoken. It was a commitment to be backed up by action, and hopefully, a living example to those around me so that they too, may be inspired to touch the lives of people around them, whoever they may be.

To a large extent, looking back at the things I've done lately, I must say I am proud of myself for being able to step out of my comfort zone, doing things I've not done before. I've approached new things with an open mind, with only the goal of doing it the best I can. And what I've gained is a whole myriad of experiences that I know I'd never have encountered if I had stayed in my comfort zone.

I read in Elle recently about stepping out of one's comfort zone. And rightfully so, it points out that we often stay in our safe zone because of fear. We fear FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real. Self-explanatory. We make up scenarios in our heads of what could go wrong, and it pulls us back. Why not make up scenarios of what could go right instead? I've never doubted the power of envisioning, and with positive thoughts in our heads, all it does is to push us forward towards our goals.

I subscribe to a simple theory that I made up myself. It's called the Pink Elephant Theory. This is how it works. First, think of a pink elephant. Got it in your head? Good. Now, don't think of the pink elephant. Can you get it out of your head? No? Bad thoughts are like the pink elephant. You can't get it out of your head if you keep focusing on it, no matter how hard you try. And it irks you to the point of frustration when you try even harder to get it out of your head. But the truth of the fact is that when you don't even focus on it, you can get it out of your head. You don't get frustrated not thinking about the pink elephant because it never did occur to you to think about it in the first place!

Similarly, failure will not escape you if you keep thinking about it, just like the pink elephant. Not to say that you be completely idealistic about things. It's different. It's about being positive, and looking at things from a different perspective. Even if the outcome isn't what I had expected it to be, does that point to failure? Or was it a lesson learnt?

I've also been sharing with my friends the concept of the Emotional Bank. We all each have one. And we have say 50 emotional credits a day in our bank. When we get angry, we lose one credit. When something frustrates us, we lose another one. But when we get happy, we earn more credits. It's like a savings bank. Ask yourself - do you want a fat nice bank at the end of the day? Or a completely empty one? With this in mind, ask yourself each time you get upset with someone, or frustrated - is that incident worth spending this emotional credit? No? Then move on. Don't let it eat into you. Cut the threads like Uncle Joel taught.

It's probably easier said than done. But what matters is that we try. I fall sometimes too, allowing myself to be drained, cynical and negative. But I keep in mind my goal, and I quickly pick myself up again. We have only one life to live. Don't waste it being cynical and angry.

:)