It made me smile to read one of my student's journals today. She was one of the girls that I had singled out from class yesterday. In her journal entry, she wrote about how she was motivated to work hard this term. She knows it's not going to be easy, but she sees it as a challenge to prepare herself for the O Levels next year. She wrote about how she will persevere to succeed. She also wrote a line of apology to me for being "tardy" with her work previously.
It wasn't so much the line of apology that made me smile, but rather her new sense of conviction and commitment to want to do well for her studies. I guess it hit her when I told her yesterday that she didn't belong in the bottom class, but that she should be at the top class. I told her, "I think you know you can be at the top." Somehow, I sense another starfish being thrown into the sea, and that makes me smile. :)
Today was the first day of my formal observations by my CT. I had my materials prepared since Tuesday, so I wasn't quite nervous. I was actually just excited to screen my little slideshow introduction to the Nuclear Bomb Activity which I did yesterday. I thought of the idea on my way home, and did it in the evening. It came complete with a loud explosive sound at the beginning, followed by the Theme from Mission Impossible as the slides went on auto-mode to set the scenario and assign the task set for the kids. As I saw all 36 pairs of eyes glued to the screen, I knew the additional work was worth it.
But I felt the lesson could have gone on better. My kids still didn't acquire the habit of speaking out loud in class, and the same problematic boys kept making noise even though my CT was there. Besides the frequent nudging to speak louder and stares to get the boys to stop talking, the discussion went on fairly well. But the class came more alive as I encouraged them to counter-argue each other's arguments. They were suddenly an animated lot altogether! I just loved the way they were spouting out argument after argument! And just at the climax of the discussion, I pulled it all together and asked them what they had learnt for the day. "How to argue!" was the reply. I guess they were shocked when I agreed with them รข€“ and tied it in with what makes a good argument. As I gave my show and tell of the structure of what makes a good argumentative essay, I was surprised to see all of them attentive and looking at me. For once, I could hear my own solitary voice when I taught. It felt empowering!
I got my book reviews my class owed me and an explanation of why didn't do it yesterday. So, the detention threat and little scolding worked! These kids are really cute. Most of them actually apologised in their little "excuse" letter on why they didn't hand in their work. And when I dropped by their class again after recess, they all "Hi, Ms Chew!" me! I think they're beginning to get the hang of me as their English teacher, and that they know I can play, yet when I mean business, I mean business. They were perhaps amused by the fact that when I announced the results of votes for the Nuclear Bomb Activity, I did it ala survivor-style. "I'm sorry, Mr Seow Lee Der. The group has spoken. You have to leave the shelter."
I saw one of my CPA students in the canteen just as I was about to leave school. He was a wreck of nerves yesterday when the test was administered. He kept saying that he would fail although I could see he was doing pretty well in the practical section of the test. I kept encouraging him and told him he'd pass. His face was downcast when the test ended. He told me he was sure to fail. So earlier today, when I saw him in the staff room, I called him and told him he passed the test. He thought I was lying till I showed him his paper. I smiled as he saw his grades - 41/50. He told me in Mandarin, "the price of my stocks just went up". I urged him on in Mandarin, "Well, you have to keep making it go up. I told you that you could do it!" He smiled at me shyly, and said thanks. As I was walking out of the school, he called to me from where he was sitting in the canteen. He was busily scribbling on a sheet of paper. I asked him what he was doing so late in school. He continued scribbling, and when he was done, he handed me the sheet of paper. On it, he wrote in faint red ink, "Teacher, thank you for helping me. May God bless you."
I guess it wasn't so much of me helping him pass the test, but the confidence I had just given him. In his eyes, I could see a new sense of confidence. For once, perhaps, he probably thought that someone believed in him, and that helped him believe in himself. "Can you help me revise my work?" he asked earnestly. I told him he could come find me if he didn't understand anything taught in class. He smiled. I smiled.
Earlier, my Principal stopped by my desk for a chat. She shared with me the joys and pains of the school. It felt nice sharing stories with her and learning more and more about the school. As I listened, I felt that there's so much to do, in motivating and injecting positivity not only into the students, but also the teachers in the school. All the more, I felt a stronger conviction that I had a mission to accomplish at the school.
I guess my Principal is yet another person throwing starfish into the sea. Once in a while, she gets tired, and stops. I think I will get tired too one day. But knowing that I have others around me who are on this starfish throwing mission, gives me strength to go on - they pick up when I get tired, and I pick up when I've rested enough. I shared with her my Starfish Story. I may have been wrong, but I thought I saw her eyes welling up with tears. She added, "I love to talk to people because I always learn new things from them."
I learned too.
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