Survived today!

I started the day feeling nervous. Today was the first day I'd be teaching computer applications to the so called "challenging" class. It didn't help that there would be two other teachers and a fellow trainee teacher sitting in my class to see how I teach. I had taught through my English and CME classes without much problem. I wondered why I was feeling the nerves for the CPA class.

It didn't help that I had a full day. I had a total of 8 periods to cover and a department meeting in the afternoon. Teaching back to back lessons, I only had an hour break in between, which was used to read material which my CT had just churned out for the next CME lesson.. I was to cover the current debate about women not producing enough babies. Amidst reading pages of newspaper clippings, I juggled with filling in the scheme of work, and debating with my other two trainee teachers of what an argumentative essay should be.

I was a wreck of nerves when the bell rang for me to teach my CPA class. Thankfully, all went well, except for the fact that my students were lost at the beginning. I was going too fast. I soon realised I had to repeat steps and speak slowly. I did best when I dealt with the students one to one. One guy told me "I cannot do this." I told him "Of course you can. You're a smart boy! Now, let's go through this slowly." It felt great to see him smile when he finally got the answers to the questions. I hope he felt a sense of achievement.

The CME class that spoke of nothing but sex at the last session didn't quite get over the topic still. It didn't help that the topic was on babies, so I entertained them by asking them how are babies made. I threw them into a debate of whether or not women take the sole responsibility of taking care of children. One guy said men should work, women should stay at home. I wrote the statements big and clear on the board, and challenged their thinking. The girls opposed. I asked them why. They gave a list of reasons. I brought up stereotypes and explained why the goverrnment is encouraging more babies. It felt good to see the this Secondary Four Normal class debating on a topic that was beyond their syllabus.

But what made me smile more was the ability to speak to a few of them personally. I soon learnt their passion for music and the arts. They loved to sing. They asked if I could sing cos they said I had a unique voice in class. They thought I was 22 and was intrigued by the fact that I had worked in a hotel before. They discussed with me their career options and asked why I wanted to teach. "Teaching no good leh. Teacher all very stressed." They were surprised when I told them I came into teaching so that I could inspire young people like them, to maximise their potential. I can't erase the picture of shy grins on their faces as I said that. I think I touched them in some way.

I ended the day feeling drained and tired. The meeting took two hours long as teachers discussed how best to teach English. I got to know the other teachers better, and learnt how they tapped on each other's resources to make work lighter.

I walked out of school in quiet reflection. I survived today. It is perhaps a close reflection of what the real teaching world is. I comforted myself that in contrast to how nervous I felt in the morning, I left school feeling stronger and more confident. As I think about all my students I taught and spoke with today, I feel I have to much more to do to inspire them. It brings me to look forward to seeing them again at school, so that I can reach out more to them. This is what I envisioned before I started teaching, and I am more than happy that it's all becoming real for me.