It's nice to be lazy once in a while. The holidays have started and I am just taking a long-deserved break. I think I owe it to my poor body who had retaliated with the bout of flu. The cough's still there, but I feel much better. Not well enough to start on my exercise regime again. I think I will start that on Monday.
The interview with the principal of Holy Innocents went on well. I'd have to let her know by next week if I want to join their school. They have vacancies. I'll think and pray about it over this weekend and see what the big guy above tells me...
In a way, I'm counting down to my holiday in Sydney. I think I will have a swell of a time there.... I hope. Grace 1 has been filling me in with all the details about where I should go, what I should do, what to eat (fried mars bars, anyone?)... Oh man! Can't wait!
Talking about holidays... I was watching Discovery Channel Travel and Adventure just now. They were featuring the top ten places to have a perfect tan. At once, I thought of Wendy. The first place they featured - Waikiki Beach in Hawaii! We were there last year. It was really beautiful. We really didn't want to go back! Every day is like a holiday there. They have people surfing at 6am in the morning! The sun's hot, but it's not humid. The people are very friendly too. You can see all the nice scenic places by clicking on the link at the side bar under "my hawaii pictures".
Thinking of that, it suddenly dawned on me that I had probably lost a travel partner. Wendy's got herself a flat with Jeff - boyfriend of 10 years. Which means wedding bells will be ringing soon. And obviously, they'd travel together. Wendy's got to save to pay for the furnishings and renovation of her new home too. So that leaves little opportunity for us to travel together again. Then I thought about Pris. She's gonna get married too. Same story. Suddenly, I felt sad, but happy. Happy for them, that they are getting on with their lives with the special someone with whom they will share the rest of their lives with. Happy to see them happy. But sad that things have to change.
I find that it seems inevitable that as friends move on with their lives, I have to accept the fact that I have to let go. Things cannot be the same as before. I cannot expect them to go out with me as often, or travel with me, or spend time with me. They have to spend time with their partners. I fully understand that. I think that if I were attached, I'd spend as much time as I can with my partner too. It's just that now I am not, and because they are, I feel lonely sometimes.
Loneliness is a feeling that is hard to explain. I sometimes may be in the company of other friends, or with family, but I still do feel lonely. It's like a void in the heart that needs tender loving care. It's times like these that I withdraw, and just want to be by myself - perhaps to deal with that fragile heart. But as I soon realise, the heart is a fussy one. It doesn't seem to respond well to self-treatment. It prefers to have the tender loving care of another. And so, when my closest friends realise the cry for care from my heart, I well up with tears of appreciation. It's like they have seen through me into my heart. It's really heart-warming. It's times like these that I am reminded that I should appreciate my friends much more. Sometimes, it's true - you never know what you've got til you've lost it.
Maybe it's just me PMS-ing again. But what I want to say now is that as my closest friends get on with the next phase in their lives, I think I will miss them. I am already now.
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