It's me again. Barely having four hours worth of shut eyes, I am up again. You see, I have to help out at my granduncle's funeral today. My mum asked me to standby and help out while they go off to church for the funeral and later on for the cremation. I am to "report" for duty at Blk 615 Bedok Reservoir Road at 9am sharp. My spirit is willing, but my body says "sleep"... Hopefully, my cold would have stopped by then, and my eyes less itchy... It seems I am allergic to work. :)
My mother has been running around lately to help her cousin out at the demise of his father. She seems so good at it. She knows the rites, the customs, what to do, what not to do, the sequence of doing things, the simplified version of doing things, and the non-simplified version of doing things. She knows who should get the oranges, what it symbolizes, who should get the little red packets, what to do with the little red packets, and even what to do with too much flowers from the many wreaths that have been sent. Wow!
Hearing her giving instructions to her cousin over the phone, I wonder if I would know what to do when the time comes. I think I don't. And so just yesterday, I told my mum that she should write a manual - like an idiot's guide to wakes and funerals, catered to the generation X of mine (not so much Y yet.. customs may change by then..). She tried to stifle her laugh as she shooed down my idea with a "choi". Hmmm... I thought it was a good idea.. No?
When she came home late last night, I shared my idea with my brother. He thought it was a good idea too. He added.. "ya, like a dummies' guide". He also added that perhaps my mum should take up a full time job as an undertaker! I said she was a specialist - right down to being the angel of death.
You see, my mum has a special gift. She prays for the terminally ill, those who are suffering and who are on their death beds, clinging on to their dear lives because they are afraid to let go. And so my mum has this prayer, which she says with the consent of their family members. This prayer is so strong, that it has been on record so far that within 24 hours of that prayer, the dying will let go in peace, and return to God. I am not kidding here. And so, my brother and I call her the Angel of Death.
And as you may have guessed, since I am so open about talking about a much taboo subject that everyone seem to avoid, my mum, brother and I are not afraid of death. Someday, we all believe, we will all leave this place. And since we are here, why should we avoid talking about something we will eventually face? And so it is quite common in our conversation to tell each other things like.. "When I die, don't make it so fanciful." My brother wants a one-day wake. My mum wants hers simple, and I want cashew nuts served to my visitors. I also want nice jazz songs played at my wake. I am the fussier one :)
Since I am at this topic of death, a few days back, I told Wendy I was wondering what people will say of my when I die. What will be on my obituary? What would be said in the eulogies? And so, it got me thinking. I do want people to remember me because I have touched their hearts in one way or other, because I have been a friend to them, because I have made a mark on them. Such things will not be forgotten. But have I done anything noteworthy?
Someone mentioned to me once that we should live our lives as though it is our last day. I ask myself today - if this is my last day, what will I do? What have I done? Have I touched enough people's lives to fill up a page for my eulogy?
You let me know. I hope I have.
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